The Elephant’s New Clothes
Our server was down all day - probably because of tomorrow’s stupid annual Brushy Mountain Apple Festival celebrating our famous apples in our quaint little downtown surrounded by the lush green foothills of the Appalachian mountains. It’s a beautiful autumn weekend. Don’t they know I want to be inside on my computer?
Actually, I’ll drop Torie and her two ya-yas off at the festival in the morning, then Scott and I will head over on the motorcycle for a couple hours. After that, we’ll ride - well into late afternoon. Aaahhh. My bunnyrunners are already tingling with anticipation.
@ It’s been quite a ride getting to where we are regarding Scott’s work situation. I think we’ve finally lit on a plan. He just got a job at Tyson, stacking pallets of frozen chicken. He’ll start Monday, working from 5p until 2a. Does this sound ideal to you? It doesn’t to us, either, and that’s why it’s just temporary. In November, he’ll be moving up to Nantucket to work for a friend who’s a general contractor.
Rich people live on Nantucket. Very rich people, and because the cost of living is so high on the island, Scott will make $25/hr swinging a hammer. While that may not sound like much to some people, it’s a lot to us, and with the money he makes we’ll be able to quickly pay off our debts, possibly within two months. While he’ll be at this job a little longer than at Tyson, it’s also temporary, which makes the prospect of long months alone – for both of us – slightly more bearable.
Our longer-range plan is for him to go to trucking school in the spring. In fact, he would have left this coming Wednesday for nine weeks of training at a company called Swift – which offers a job/school combination - had our friend not offered him the construction job. Working in Nantucket will enable us to pay for school ourselves, so we may look into programs closer to home. If he decides to go with Swift in the spring, the school costs will be absorbed and taken out of his wages over the months he works for them, which isn’t a bad deal; it just isn’t the best. There are lots of other options. Another friend works for a trucking company close to us, and when Scott talked to the owner yesterday, he was told he’d have a job with them once he gets his CDL. Scott passed two trucking companies on the way to that one, advertising for drivers. It’s a good, solid profession; one that’s desperate for drivers right now.
[note: I couldn’t say anything earlier because we had to beg our parents for “meantime” money, and hadn’t been able to talk to them yet. Thank you, parents.]
So. Beginning sometime in November, you are going to hear no end of bitching, moaning, whining, crying, and outright bursts of terror from this quarter. I’m just warning you now. You may want to start extricating yourselves gracefully. I will be alone, and while I complain about not getting enough alone time, being without my mate for months on end is going to be very difficult, considering I’ve leaned on said mate for twenty years.
[note to potential stalkers: I do have a massive, 17-yr-old son who will beat you bloody if you get any ideas. And I sleep with a Lorena Bobbitt doll, if you catch my meaning. And you will, if we catch you.]
She would never go for it, but I think Jean should move in with me, since she has strong shoulders, albeit tiny ones. She really loves my dogs (*unmitigated lie). If she did move in, I’d have to make sure she’s comfortable with sleeping on the left side of the bed, though. The right side is already molded to fit my body and besides, all my stuff is over there. Truth be told, there’d be no room for little Jean. With Scott gone, I will sleep in a sarcophagus of books and papers and Pennywise puzzle magazines and spent sunflower seed packages and post-its. I know this, because it’s how I slept before I was married. I’ll chew everything up, and with my bare hands form a cozy cocoon to crawl into, like a grub. And you thought I only just got into papier-mache’…. Silly you.
And now I really need to go to bed, petesakes. I’m getting delirious. See you in the manana! xo
October 1st, 2005 01:49
Hey, I’m the first one! I am glad you guys have found a plan. It’s so important to have a direction in life and marriage. Especially if you both work it out. Separation can be a great thing. I am looking forward to my time in Korea and my separation from Jenn. Not because I won’t be with her, but because I will not take her for granted like I do now. I think it’s important that we are forced to reconnect with those we love. It helps us realize how important they are in our lives.
I have always had a romantic notion of the trucking life. I am sure that it’s not all I have dreamed up, but it must still be fun, the first 100 miles at least. I like that he wants to learn something new.
October 1st, 2005 02:29
Added note to potential stalkers, don’t stalk and then flee to the west coast, Kels Dad and Brother and I and my brother have this coast covered. Glad to see that Scott will be making more than I am an hour. I have a brother in law that is a trucker and he and my sister never take each other for granted. I know that when I went on vacation for a week that it was so nice to see Ruth Ann again. No matter what you say we will always be here for you.
October 1st, 2005 02:55
Ah, the plan unfolds. And it’s a good plan, isn’t it? Oh yes. You’re in my prayers, Kelly and Scott and Kids, and you’re there for the duration. xx
October 1st, 2005 08:45
It IS great when you have a plan in place, and even better when the plan will bring benefits like paying off bills/debt - and future school stuff. Very cool!
Love the comment about the Lorena Bobbitt doll!
October 1st, 2005 08:55
Chaz - That’s encouraging to hear… I KNOW beyond a shadow that this is going to be good for both of us, as hard as it will be. I need to become more independent, and finish my book; and Scott needs a profession he feels good about. He’ll actually have time to read, too (with audio books) and talk with God. It feels like the best decision for now. He’s always wanted to be a trucker, so I’m glad he’s finally getting the chance. And I think you’re right: we won’t take each other for granted at ALL when we hardly see each other. People are going to roll their eyes around us, we’ll be so lovey-dovey.
@@@
Roddy - I know I can ALWAYS rely on you great bruisers to protect me, thank God. Too bad you don’t live next door… I’m not scared, though. In addition to Jesse, I have two big dogs and a little scrappy yapper. I’d have plenty of time to load my baseball bat. ~ Yeah, the potential for a good income is very appealing, despite the hours we’re separated. We both feel really good about this. Thanks for always being there R - I know you are and I love you for it. xo
@@@
Davydd - I think it’s a good plan, too. Of course as with every plan, it’s subject to change as the Lord wills, but we have to make one anyway, don’t we? Scott and I have had such a series of “starting overs” regarding jobs, and it feels like we might actually be able to settle into this one. Plus, I’ll be able to travel with him sometimes, and with a laptop I can post from the road. The Trucker’s Diaries - wouldn’t that be fun? xo
October 1st, 2005 09:00
Flippy - It IS nice to have a plan. Let’s see how far it unfolds without the Lord throwing a winker in (in a good way, o’course!).
Lorena Bobbitt is every abused woman’s hero, ain’t she? xo
October 1st, 2005 10:18
Kelly, if you get all lonely and whiny about being separated from Scott, I’ll still be here to read what you say. Because, I’m looking at a year’s separation and I’m going to want some company. I don’t ditch my friends when they’re in need.
I’m excited for you guys and your plan. The one thing that bothers me is wether Scott will be home for Christmas. Please tell me he will!
October 1st, 2005 10:45
First of all, I love the sound of the word Nantucket. Nantucket. Nantucket. It’s a very fun word.
Second, it’s good to hear the confidence in your voice as you talk about your plan - it’s obvious you and Scott have had lots of time to talk about it and you are both completely on the same page about the road ahead. Plus, guys swinging hammers are really sexy.
Third, while Asia and I have had very little separation in our marraige, I have to say I think it can be a very good thing. Now long term, we’ve never done, but short term stuff is great for making the heart grow fonder. Just think of the great two and a half minutes you’ll share whenever he gets home!
Fourth - will you get to go to Nantucket? I can imagine lots of wondeful little overpriced shops full of whimsical things… Nantucket, Nantucket, Nantucket..
October 1st, 2005 11:16
Jenn - Yes, for sure he’ll be home for Christmas. Thanksgiving is another thing, but I can probably whine my way into somebody’s home for that, or just invite a bunch of people here (like I KNOW a bunch of people - that will mean Jean, most likely, and the Gascho’s, whom we have over every year). ~ When I wrote about you guys extricating yourselves, I knew you wouldn’t. You’re faithful and that’s why I adore you so. We can cry on each other’s shoulders. And most likely will! xoxo
@@@
Cath - Nantucket Nantucket Nantucket. I wonder what the word means in whatever Native American language it springs from? I keep thinking of Daniel Day-Lewis in Last of the Mohicans saying, “Ken-tuck-ay”. ~ At this point we DO feel confident; everything seems to be flowing smoothly in that direction. We’ll see though. You know, “the best laid plans of man…” ~ 2.5 minutes indeed! We may even make it to 3.5 after being apart so long! Oh wait; it’ll probably be even shorter then. Oh well. ~ It’s very possible I COULD go to Nantucket. My art teacher and friend - Deb - is married to Doug, our friend the general contractor who’s hiring Scott. They’ve invited us up before, just to visit, so maybe I can hitch a ride with her when she goes. They live here, but manage an art gallery up there in the summers. I’m sure I can find some overpriced, whimsical stuff there! xo
October 1st, 2005 11:34
Oh goodness - art teacher, friend, art gallery, Nantucket, husband - sounds like a fabulous plan. I’m so jealous. Nantucket, Nantucket, Nantucket…
October 1st, 2005 12:41
Well, we can’t have you alone for Thanksgiving, can we? (I just googled it - 4th Sunday in November - please forgive my ignorance.) Come to Plymouth! Bring all your family and friends!
Or, if that’s too daft, shall we organise a Keep Our Kelly Happy chatroom for the day and fill it with joy and frivolity?
2.5 minutes eh? What a stud! When I used to arrive home after six months away, the second bang was always the door slamming shut behind me. Then my wife would smile and say, “What’s your name again..?”
October 1st, 2005 14:19
Kelly, I’ve tagged you!
October 1st, 2005 14:46
I’m so pleased to hear about Scotty-doo’s jobs and upcoming opportunities! Hoorah and hoorah again (must be said with Winston Churchill accent) Makes you want to go out and buy a REALLY large pair of trousers….sorry, I’m in the Black Adder mindset..can’t get out.Love ya Kells, and i knew I was yelling at you with the caps—that’s how you can know that I REALLY love you loudly! Sincerely, Your Livin’-loud-robs
October 1st, 2005 16:23
Robin, if you like Black Adder than I shall call you a friend for life! One of my British friends (and an old art teacher of mine) introduced me to the wonders. That’s where I got the word rumpy-pumpy and I use it often!
October 1st, 2005 16:51
Robin, you are always so cheery and fun in your writing and O.K. . . . loud. I crack up when I read your comments because I can SEE you saying exactly what you are writing. I see you flailing your hands to express yourself as you talk. Too funny. Good to have you around. Did you ever think of taking a comedy act onstage rather than online? You’d be awesome what with the disgusting yams and such. I’m not a big commenter but usually read what you chatterheads are discussing. Mostly I just sit here and laugh. It’s not AT you, mind you, it’s WITH you. Now that we have that clear, I better get back to work. Stop distracting me you guys!
October 1st, 2005 17:02
Yeah!!! Black Adder rules…I think the first time I saw it was with the Kellster and company!!! I still have not stopped laughing!!! Jenn—my “cunning plan” worked!!! I have your friendship!;) And Lorraine???I had no idea it was YOU!!!!Hello and we must email each other or something!!!As to tkaing my show on the road, I’m afraid there’s a glut in the potty talk industry at present! My email is keyofrobin2@sbcglobal.net…Kelly, sorry for talking to other people on YOUR blog page..how rude! But, I would do just about anything for a little attention..you know this about me, and yet you still love me….its a disease, I know…..Here’s lookin’ at you, kid! Robs
October 1st, 2005 17:16
Cath - Plus, they’re classy, too. And they know what kind of wine to drink with dinner.
@@@
Davydd - HAHA, I’m laughing because my relatives sailed FROM England TO Plymouth (Rock), and that’s why we celebrate Thanksgiving. There’s a little history lesson for you, for free! But I wouldn’t mind a reverse trip. ~ You are too sweet to be a man for thinking of organizing a KOKH day. Of course, I’m unopposed to it! ~ “The second bang was always the door slamming shut behind me” is the funniest line I’ve heard in a long time. I’ve gotta tell Scott. ~ What does it mean to be tagged? Is it self-explanatory, if I go to your site?
@@@
Robs - I will always be your dogsbody. Isn’t it surreal seeing Hugh Laurie play a serious role - as an AMERICAN - in House? He was always so hilarious in BA. We saw the old Whose Line Is It Anyway awhile back, and thought of you…
@@@
Jenn & Kate - Robin IS a rumpy-pumpy kook, ain’t she? xo
October 1st, 2005 17:20
Robs - Yes, we are the ones who turned you on to it, AND Whose Line Is It… We are the cause of many of your addictions. It might be too late to apologize for some of them.
~ I think you need your own site, really, because you have so much to say, but I don’t mind you using mine in the meantime. In fact, I’m used to it. I just consider myself the proprietor of this particular internet cafe, and what keeps me from feeling insecure is knowing I have the power to pull the plug on the little soire if it gets out of hand. BWAhahahaha - I heart POWER!!!! xo
October 1st, 2005 18:26
I see you haven’t changed much over the years, have you?..still the sweet liitle quiet mousy doormat…NOT!!!!!.And yes, Hugh should NOT be so serious–doesn’t suit him like wacky does. I would get my own websit, but I’m too lazy, and I don’t know how, and you did all this great work, and you have all the friends.boohoo..heehee…And yes, you are too blame for many of my maladies….including all my innappropriatnesses(is that a word?)well, I know this is: CUJO!!!! Yam atcha later!
October 1st, 2005 19:35
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one to sleep surrounded by books and notebooks and magazines and all that other fun stuff.
Sounds like you guys have a good plan. I’ll pray for that time in Nantucket to pass quickly!
October 1st, 2005 19:56
Kelly, rumpy-pumpy is something one does not something one is! It’s the first of the two bangs that David mentioned. Although, I think I’ll call Charles a rumpy-pumpy and see what it gets me! Haha!
Robin, Kelly may have all these friends, but you have the great yam story, no, ledgend! If you started a site, I’d go there in a hurry and check it out! We’re all about sharing here.
October 1st, 2005 20:42
Robs - I rely on my old friends to maintain the delusions I’m feeding my new friends. I beg you to play along! Beg! Everybody believes I’m 20. ~ Okay, go ahead and mooch on my site; I don’t care. More comments for me, which makes me feel loved and necessary, although we’re all seeing what a crock the ‘necessary’ part is. xo
@@@
Kari - FINALLY somebody commented on my last paragraph, which was my favorite. I’m glad you’re a fellow nester. It IS fun, isn’t it, and comforting in a very pathetic, loserly way. ~ Thank you for your prayers; we are definitely going to need them! xo
@@@
Jenn - Like I’m gonna remember a phrase from a show I watched 15 years ago. Pffth. Okay, rumpy-pumpy-tiddly-dee/ a bang for a buck or flattery/ either one will work for me… ~ PLEASE stop with the yams. You’re only encouraging her inappropriateness.
October 1st, 2005 21:18
Blast! If I have to stop with the yams I’ll never get to share the important word that I learned.
*SUSPENSE*
October 1st, 2005 21:45
Okay, I am having a major spelling crisis, and I don’t know how it crept into my bed and started making love to me, but there it is and I apoligizxe four al the rong speled werds i’v made lately….I repent of my affair with Mr. bad grammer and promis tooooo be beter……Kell, you don’t have to beg me….You got me, babe..hook line and stinker
and I WILL tell the legend of the ribs very soon…when the time is right..its all about timing, huh?
October 1st, 2005 21:47
JENN-suspense makes the heart grow fonder….don’t ya just love me?…would you like details of said yam, or ribs or both with a little sour cream on the side?
October 2nd, 2005 00:53
Jenn - Yeeeessss, suspense… That’s a good word, and one I believe we should dust off and use from now on, in sentences such as “please leave the world in suspense, Robin, regarding the rest of the yam story.”
@@@
Robs - Sounds more like aggravated assault to me. I’d persectut, um prosieptku, eh… preh… oh whateve.r
October 3rd, 2005 09:16
Kellster, I think David has set up his chat room to keep you occupied! We’ll not only find joy and frivolity here, but madcap misadventures and high-spirited high-jinks!
Of COURSE you’re necessary to us!- to all of us! Just think how Scott will feel without you around- those 2.5 minutes will lay heavily …um….on his…um…hands….
ok, my mind just slipped smoothly into the gutter…