Merry Christmas!
I think it’s patently unfair that I get strange looks from the wait staff when I ask for vinegar for my fries, even in publike restaurants where it should be expected. I just thought I’d throw that out.
Ooh it’s cold this morning, but clear so there’s no discernible chance of snow. This is okay until tomorrow afternoon, when snow is required. I also thought I’d throw that out, in case God is listening. Or Santa… I’m not quite sure who I should be petitioning for Christmas snow.
I’m still making lists and checking them twice. I’ve got to plan Sunday’s menu and mostly, write out the ingredients so Scott can shop for them. We have a nice setup: he shops for holiday meal ingredients, and I toss them together to form the actual feast. This happy agreement is the result of a major tantrum I threw years and years ago, one that actually stuck, though in retrospect I should have included dish-doing in it, as that remains a somewhat murky area. I also need him to buy a present I forgot to get him, one that was high on his list, but I don’t think even I am cagey enough to figure that one out. I’ll send Jess, who’s such a newbie at personal freedom he doesn’t mind the holiday crowds.
This is the point before the magic of Christmas morning gift-opening at which I start to panic that I don’t have enough, or the correct, presents for my kids. It’s an annual emotion and I’ll just try to soldier through until Sunday afternoon when I can feed them cheesecake to ease the pain.
The house is all a-twinkle with lights this early morning; I have eggnog for my coffee; personal slaves to run my errands; big warm labs to cuddle with - oh, and Scott; amazing books waiting in a stack to be read; ditto movies to be seen; and the anticipation of ham and scalloped potatoes et al for Christmas dinner. Of course, we’re having Chinese on Christmas Eve, what else? We’re such devotees of Shanghai Express that last week the owner gave us a little ornament for our tree, which I thought was especially thoughtful, as they’re Buddhists and could give a rip. One-timers and regular run-of-the-mill customers also got ornaments, but they were pity gifts, I could tell.
Oh oh, that was a perfect segue into a little exchange I wanted to share with you, from David Sedaris’s book Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, which I devoured yesterday. He begins, “I am reminded of a conversation I annually hold with my friend Ken Shorr”:
Me: Did you get your tree yet?
Ken: I’m a Jew, I don’t decorate Christmas trees.
Me: So you’re going to go with a wreath instead?
Ken: I just told you, I’m a Jew.
Me: Oh, I get it. You’re looking for a cheap wreath.
Ken: I’m not looking for a wreath at all. Leave me alone, will you.
Me: You’re probably just tense because you haven’t finished your Christmas shopping.
Ken: I don’t Christmas shop.
Me: What are you telling me? That you make all of your presents?
Ken: I don’t give Christmas presents period. Godammit, I told you, I’m a Jew.
Me: Well, don’t you at least need to buy something for your parents?
Ken: They’re Jews, too, idiot. That’s what makes me one. It’s hereditary. Do you understand?
Me: Sure.
Ken: Say the words “I understand.”
Me: I understand. So where are you going to hang your stocking?
~~~
Peace and good will, you guys. I love you and will see you Monday! xo
December 23rd, 2005 08:36
I will be gone till Tuesday, looks like~
I am puzzled~ call me Puzzled~ how did you comment on my blog without showing up on the sitemeter?
December 23rd, 2005 09:07
Merry Christmas, Kelly!
December 23rd, 2005 09:07
Of course it’s unfair. Malt vinegar and fries are to die for. Actually my good friend Phil from Canada had people visiting him who actually asked for vinegar at McDonalds. When they couldn’t get it they went elsewhere to eat. LOL
Loved the quote from the book Kel. Made me giggle.
As for errands, I’m in my pj’s and intend to stay that way all day. Kim (my hubby) and kids can do any errands that need to be done. Carissa is going into Chicago with friends to enjoy the ambiance of Christmas in the city. One less I have to feed today, but oh darn, that means I have to dogsit Cujo. I mean Cairo.
One last load of laundry, and I’m in a chair with hot chocolate or tea finishing that darn book.
Merry, merry Christmas Kelly - to you and your family. Enjoy the time together, and I’m sending up extra prayers for snow.
xoxoxo
December 23rd, 2005 09:24
Chrissy, today I am Stealth Barbie. Actually, more like Skipper Stealth. Or Ken, in his more effeminate days. Are you having a Merry Merry so far? xo
@@@
Heathynoodle, I wasn’t sure if you were going to step out of blogdom until January… Please keep coming over here so I don’t die of sadness. I’m not above begging. Of course, there are emails, everybody knows - but I owe so many of them now I’m beginning to quail at the thought. Sigh. SIGH. I think I’ll start Eragon today. What are you reading right now?
Merry Christmas, lovey. xo
@@@
Kar (I need a good nickname for you) - I’m thinking of staying jammied today, too. I can’t think of any reason to go out today, though my children and husband have PLENTY of them, and none of their own.
I remember when my kids were little: we drove around and looked at Christmas lights, planned special events, spent a whole evening decorating, etc., and now it’s all just a mishmash of whenever-it-happens. That’s okay; flexibility is the word of the hour.
That darn book… heh heh heh. I know you’re still lovin it, hence the sentiment.
When my dogs fight, all I have to do is yell “CUJO!” at them really loud, and they stop to look at me curiously. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s their name for God. Have a merry weekend, friend! xo
December 23rd, 2005 11:42
Merry Christmas Kelly,
I am looking fabulous in my fuzzy blue scarf. It sets off my eyes and hair and is thin enough not to overwhelm my tiny face. Perfect. xo
December 23rd, 2005 12:13
My kids do not have the experience of a large Christmas dinner… I NEVER want to cook a big sh-bing sh-bangy dinner for just the five of us. We have cinnamon rolls and juice and maybe some sort of brunchy stuff like bacon for breakfast and then we just sort of graze all day on whatever.
I was going to go on about your ham and scalloped potatoes and a crock pot recipe I have, but it was sounding too Pleasantville, so I decided to stop myself.
December 23rd, 2005 12:19
Kelly, I know the feeling. Well, not the one where you wonder about your children’s gifts, but the one where I wonder about gifts for Chaz. I’ve barely got a meal planned in my head. Actually, I have to head back out to the store today (boo hoo) to pick up the last ingredients. But that’s all right. It will be my only trip out today. Tomorrow I’m going to get up early to take Charles to work (he works 6-6 both Christmas Eve and Day) and then I’m going to go walk on the beach. It will be chilly and nice. I can’t wait!
December 23rd, 2005 12:21
Oh, and Merry Christmas!
(I posted this too fast and I got a note that said, Sorry, you can only post every 15 seconds. Slow down cowboy. Did you design that or did Steve?)
December 23rd, 2005 13:16
Jeans, I knew you would. At first I got only two skeins because that’s all that was left, thinking I’d go back and buy another to add to it. But when I was finished and wrapped it around my own chicken neck, I realized it was fine as it was. I’m glad you think so, too, or at least are being so wonderfully polite about it.
Are you having a good day? All packed yet? xo
@@@
Cath, I never resent the Christmas dinner; I enjoy it way more than Thanksgiving. Go figure. It’s like a nice cap to the entire two-day extravaganza, although it’s possible that going to King Kong may be our cap this year. I’m pulling for Monday, though: fewer people out. Theoretically. I’m getting really happy now; the spirit is kickin in. Plus, I just took a hot bath in the middle of the day and even fell asleep in it, which was surreal and refreshing. Merry Christmas, friend! xo
@@@
Jenns, I just sent you my HP response… It sounds like you’re planning to take care of yourself just fine on Christmas, especially with good books to read. Every year is different, it seems, and traditions need to be adjustable.
Sigh… a walk on the beach. I wish I wish. I can see you strolling along now, breeze blowing your hair back as you gaze pensively at the ocean, contemplating my response to your HP email… Have a great time, friend. (Give Chaz a hug and make him give you one from me, and Merry Christmas to you both!) kiss xo
December 23rd, 2005 13:18
Oh wait, now who forgot to add something!? I can’t design anything on this site without destroying something else, so no. I didn’t add the “slow down cowboy” admonition, which is really cute. I think it may be a WordPress thing. xo
December 23rd, 2005 14:05
Well. it sounds like you’ve got everything all planned out. I especially like the part, “big warm labs to cuddle with - oh, and Scott”. Scott. As an afterthought? You sure he wouldn’t want it to say “Scott, and oh-big warm labs to cuddle with”? Hehehe…! And was that really you that I saw comment on my blog the other day? Or is there another Kelly out there that I have to deal with as well? Love ya!
December 23rd, 2005 14:29
Oh no, that was me. Poor you, having to deal with only one Kelly. I like the layout of your new blog better; it’s more accessible for me. My screen just can’t handle big blogs, more’s the pity. And since it’s all about me anyway… no, wait… that’s your line.
I was just thinking about snuggly labs because last night I got the urge to lie down on the floor next to my big blubbery lab Ambrose and hug him. He sighed and snuggled in, because he’s a cuddlebug. I thought after writing it I shouldn’t leave Scott out, so I just tagged him on. You know.
I feel happy today. How about you? Merry Christmas, Chris! xo
December 23rd, 2005 16:30
I loved the conversation part. Made me laugh because I am sure it actually happens that way.
I need to work out a system like you do for the holiday meal shopping…though I am afraid with my husband he would forget to pick up some main ingredient, like the ham.
December 23rd, 2005 16:56
Kassi, oh yes. That was a huge problem until I bitchily insisted on him returning to the store to retrieve the missing item(s). He’s careful to get it right the first time, as much as possible. Mistakes happen, of course - even when moi twoi is shopping. I make myself go back, too.
Have you read David Sedaris? He’s SO funny he makes me sob in cramping paroxysms; it’s awesome. I LOVE his writing. xo
December 23rd, 2005 17:05
I finished the book. I finished the book. Now I can get on with my life. Thanks again Kelly for the recommendation. Wow - I think I have things tough. So now I’m off to do Christmassy things and wrap gifts and finish all the chores I’ve been neglecting while experiencing Alaska. Feel free to recommend another Kelly - but not til after Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
xoxoxo
December 24th, 2005 10:19
I’m so glad you liked it, Karen. At least, I think you liked it, right? If you enjoy books about women becoming independent by living alone for a time, I have about half a dozen to recommend; truly wonderful, inspiring books. Let me know. If you want straight fiction, I’ve got a million of ‘em.
Have a great Christmas! xo
December 24th, 2005 18:47
Merry Christmas Kelly - Gatsby
December 24th, 2005 22:51
Merry Christmas to you, too, Gats! I hope you’re having a great one. We are, so far… Scott and Jess are in the driveway right now, setting up Torie’s trampoline. I just wrote a letter to Van, and now I’m headed for bed. Four am is going to come very early (that’s when Torie ALWAYS gets up on Christmas; it’s encoded; she’ll probably do it when she’s my age). Lots of love! xo
December 25th, 2005 00:04
Merry Christmas North Carolina, it is Christmas there but not here. We just sat thru the most painful Christmas Eve service. So therefore we are not going tomorrow morning. Songs no one knew, a moderator who was way too tenative and no invitation to interact with the body. Well we opened one gift and boy howdy does Dan know me well. He got me the DVD edition of SNL Trivial Pursuit, I bet I could bet you at this one. Merry Christmas to all my great friends in North Carolina.
December 25th, 2005 09:34
I am in touch with 4 am - it is quite the delight when the 40 yr old elf finishes assembly and wrapping at 1:45am - I hope your day is wonderful. -Gatsby
December 25th, 2005 23:10
Hi Roddy! Every year I want to go to the St. Paul’s gorgeous Christmas Eve service at 10p, and every year I boog out for one reason or another. It’s just too late to leave the house, even for something as (allegedly) wonderful as that service. Well. Maybe next year.
SNL Trivial Pursuit? You would definitely beat me at that. Roddy, you would beat me at regular TP now because I have only about a half dozen gray cells left. Last night I had a mug of wine (dishes dirty, okay?), thus effectively killing even more. I’ll just give you the win now. We had a fun Christmas. I hope you had a great day, especially just resting at home! xo
@@@
Gats, your 40-yr-old elf comment made me think of the 40-yr-old Virgin, which Jesse told his friend Charles to buy for us, as it’s “their favorite movie!” Turkey. It WAS a funny movie, but not a favorite, and I’ll probably only watch it one more time. Anyway.
Torie told us she woke at 4:30a but waited an hour to give us more time to sleep. So, we were up at 5:30a instead, an improvement! Thankfully, we can all go back to bed if we want to later. I hope you had fun! xo
December 26th, 2005 03:27
Happy Christmas. Hope you’re having a wonderful time. xxx
December 26th, 2005 09:14
Hope you had an awesome Christmas Kellelicious!
(oh, and I had an auburn one - pics to be posted in a few days…) Blog on into the new year - we ain’t going nowhere.
December 26th, 2005 09:16
We didn’t go to Christmas Eve service either. Way too early - 6:00pm. And basicly since they “had” to have a service on Sunday too (huh?) they kinda split what they usually do on Christmas eve, thereby having the communion service on Christmas morning. Why oh why couldn’t they just have one nice, meaningful classy service? Just my opinion. But I was a bit disappointed. Maybe next year I’ll go to midnight mass at the St. Johns….;)
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!
December 26th, 2005 16:05
Happy Christmas, to you too Davit. Do you say “Merry Christmas” over there? We are having a great one. Very relaxing, very nice. I hope it’s the same for you! xo
@@@
Michie, I READ that you went auburn (or at least were going to, when I read about it!!!) I’m so excited!!! I’ll bet you look fantastic. Yeah, we’ll keep bloggin, won’t we? because we’re freaks about it. I get nothing else done, is how freaky I am. Sigh. oh well. lala.
I hope you had a great weekend…xo
@@@
Karen, I think “they” have church because they’re “SUPPOSED” to have church. It’s Sunday, dammit! What else??!! Even though I’m sure even (especially) the pastor would like to stay in his jammies all morning after getting up at 4am with his kids. Sheesh. One of these days, I really do want to go to St. Paul’s Christmas Eve service; it sounds so beautiful. I’ll have to go by myself, though, since Scott won’t. Too bad you don’t live close, eh? I hope you had a good weekend, too. Are you off this week? xo
December 28th, 2005 11:20
Where have you gone? Will you come back? It’s been so long!!
December 28th, 2005 23:04
Is it just me or is it Wednesday night and Kelly hasn’t posted?
Oh, Kelly… we’re waiting…
Must be that durned husband demanding her time…
December 29th, 2005 13:12
Hi you guys… I’m still alive, but have barely even approached the computer with any aim other than moving it so we could sit down to eat (it’s on the dining room table)… I’ll be back eventually - but with Scott home and the kids on vacation, we’ve been doing vacationy stuff. Of course you understand… I do think about you, though, tons. Kiss kiss hug. xo
December 29th, 2005 16:47
I haven’t gotten any notifications of any posts of yours so I just KNEW bloglines must not be working. Wrong. You’re just off doing wife, mom and holiday stuff. Just be back by next week, will ya?!
December 29th, 2005 20:44
Hi Chrissa. Just consider me “off” in every way imaginable…
You’re too sweet to want me, though. Bloggedies like you are what make this so addictive. Sigh. xo