Barrell o’ yucks
Okay, let me just say that yesterday’s topic exhumed every last nth of energy I had left, dashed it to the floor, and monkey-stomped it to oblivion. I am truly exhausted. I received encouraging comments, emails, and even a phone call from you sweet babies. I’m overwhelmed, and therefore, I’ve decided to renounce my evil ways and relinquish my life to God. This morning around 3a, I shaved off all my hair. I made a few calls and found a convent willing to take me. I’m changing my name to Sister Perpertua Significata Bernadette Peters and I’ll be leaving around 9a. See you guys around. It’s been fun.
I’m not even going to pretend you believed that, though I may have had you going on the shaved head part. Just for a second. Eh? Eh?
Because I farted around so much yesterday, I didn’t get my banking done. I don’t know why I haven’t learned yet that 90% of my anxiety and depression comes from the anticipation of an unsavory task - not the task itself - and therefore by postponing it until today I’ve doubled my psychic pain. That’s 90% more anxiety and depression, which amps the total way up, leaving me, like, 180% more mental! (Where’s my sudoku book?) The worst part is, it’s not even my own personal banking I’m supposed to be doing. It’s Van’s. He gave me Power-of-Attorney.
Hahahahaahahahaahahahahaahaha!!!!!!! Fool.
Today I’ll be doing a couple ‘repeat’ tasks. One of those will be rewashing the two loads of my clothing that somebody removed from the dryer before they were completely dry so said somebody could dry his or her own clothes, leaving the aforementioned two loads of damp clothing to mildew in the hot, steamy garage. Somebody also left a pen in the wash, as several towels and a pair of pants are now sporting kicky turquoise splotches. Good times. That particular somebody was probably me, though.
The other repeat task ahead is to… um… I guess there was only one. Besides the typical everyday repeat tasks. I’m thinking, for dinner, that I should make something besides spaghetti with vodka sauce (from a jar); spaghetti with garlic sauce (from a jar); spaghetti with meat sauce (from a jar); roasted chicken (from a chicken); frozen pizza; or Japanese takeout. You know, let my hair down a little. Oh, I can also make soup. I am such an uninspired cook. I know I should be saving for my kids’ therapy and/or angioplasty bills because of it. It’s no wonder Van wants to be a chef: the possibility of eventually getting something decent to eat is too compelling.
Remember O Brother Where Art Thou? When asked what he’ll do with his share of the stolen money, Pete says that he wants to own a restaurant and be the maitre de. “And all mah meals fer free…” he says, gazing into the campfire. I don’t know. I love that part.
Have you ever heard such senseless babble? I mean, since yesterday? Thanks for indulging me. You guys are awesome. kiss xo
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Important addendum: If you, too, feel a hankerin’ to quote from O Brother Where Art Thou?, check out this site.
April 12th, 2006 06:26
Big mistake mentioning ‘Oh Brother’……
Prepare for a barrage of favourite quotes!!!!
Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain’t it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I’m the only one that remains unaffiliated.
“Oh, George… not the livestock”
Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the consensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.
Figure we could both use some cheering up….
April 12th, 2006 06:30
*I am a maaaaaaan of constant sorrooooooow*
Good grief, it feels like I’m commenting on my own blog because I could have written that (well, not the shaved head bit obviously.) The kids are always groaning “Not pasta AGAIN???” hahaha. I love spaghetti, except when you slurp it up and the sauce splatters all over your (inevitably white) top. Or is it just me who that happens to?
I wouldn’t worry about the washing, that seems to happen every day here. I have been known to wash a mobile phone (of COURSE it was knackered after), cash (yes, notes) and sundry important items. I am so bad at being a housewife.
I love it when you say awesomw. Really, I do. I’ll even give you a kiss xx (just a peck on the cheek, mind)
April 12th, 2006 06:48
Fm, the quote I use the most, for no good reason at all, is “Speck you want them chaaains knocked off.” Oh and also, “You two are as dumb as a bag o’ hammers” and also “Why, look at Delmar here,”/”Yeah, look at me!” and also “We thought you was a tooooad.” and “Ah’m on’ give you, ten dollah a piece!!” and “Gopher, Ev’rett?”/”No, Delmar. One third of a gopher’d only arouse my appetite without bedd’n her down again.” Oh and of course, r-u-n-n-o-f-t. Suddenly, I’m thinking of a hundred more… That’s got to be the most quotable movie since The Holy Grail. Hey, you DID cheer me up!
Maybe I’ll even watch it tonight for further cheering… (I hope you get cheered too, friend. Just run-of-the-mill down-in-the-dumps, or something scarier? Shall I send you Aakanks glow-in-the-dark care bear?) xo
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Claredy, you should know that I LIVE in OBWAT? country; in fact, if you venture out of Atlanta a ways on your trip out, you may encounter some OBWAT? of your own… I saw the movie here at home, and while people laughed at the intended funny parts, it was nothing like how people laughed (mocked, more like) in Portland OR, so says a friend who lives there. We don’t think we’re strange here… Honestly, I was a little put out.
Guess what I’m having for breakfast? Spaghetti with meat sauce (from a jar). I have a whitish hoodie on; we’ll see if it makes it through without a splotch… And I once washed around $100 in cash. My proudest moment thus far.
You know what’s funny? I changed “you guys are the greatest” to “you guys are awesome” at the very last second. And you don’t believe there’s a God.
April 12th, 2006 06:55
D’you know what? Yesterday I was wishing you could add pics to your posts but then I reckoned that they wouldn’t be nearly as good to read, you have to try harder when you can’t get a cheap laugh from a photo of your kid with a goofy face on. But today I would really like to see evidence of a spotlessly white hoodie after a spaghetti-slurping sesh. And you know what? I too am sporting a white hoodie. We are hoodie twins. That is truly awesome
April 12th, 2006 07:03
First gangstahs, now girls from da hood. ha! If I could figure out why my camera’s not communicating with my computer, I’d add pics. But then, I also have dial-up, which makes loading pictures a hassle and THEN some. I guess, Claredy Loon, you’re stuck with your imagination, which is undoubtedly FAR better than my boring old reality anyway.
Time to test the sauce/hoodie combination…
xo
April 12th, 2006 07:37
Have you tried a basic stir-fry? Or maybe tacos. Those are both easy and yummy.
I don’t have the luxury of leaving things in the wash since I share 8 washers and 8 dryers with 150 other apartments. Gotta get my clothes quick before someone steals them. I’m missing a bra, my favorite, and I don’t know if I lost it (how?) or if it got taken out of the wash.
I have found that 90% of anxiety certainly is from the anticipation. But that doesn’t explain why I keep putting off writing my paper on spiritual trends in the US. I’m such a dork. If I had gotten it done last weeks, I’d be a lot happier now and I’d be able to read a book for pleasure (I’ve had to be stern with myself and not allow reading until I’m done with school).
April 12th, 2006 08:02
Jenns, try checking for your bra in the glove compartment of Chaz’s pickup. That’s where Goldie Hawn found her underwear, anyway. I mean, not in Chaz’s pickup - in Kurt Russell’s pickup, in Overboard. I’m just saying, in a roundabout, boring kind of way. I feel like Gob, suddenly. C’MON.
Did you read that Showtime offered to take AD but the creators turned them down? They felt the show had run its course, after all. CRAP on a stick. It had only run its course because it had had to be wrapped up satisfactorily, and it was under threat of cancellation for an entire year! Or so! Wah!
Actually, now that I’m rooting around, I believe I may have found your bra in my hamper. It has a couple turquoise splotches, though. You don’t mind, do you?
I honestly can’t imagine doing schoolwork at this time in my life. I have no brain to speak of. None. You’re my heroine. Or maybe I should try heroin. xo
April 12th, 2006 08:17
Well, at least your meals are better than Hamburger Helper or Stouffers Lasagna. Although that lasagna is actually very good. Maybe I can pry it out of the metal pan and put it in one of my own and no one will be the wiser…
I have washed a watch (it went through the dryer too, and still worked. I feel a Timex commercial coming on…), my cell phone, dead - apparently it doesn’t have the resilience of Timex, and I too have laundered money many times. What can I say….
But - tho I hate to admit it, I am not an OBWAT fan. So sorry. My hubby loves it and pulls it out whenever he wants to torture me.
xoxoxo
April 12th, 2006 08:45
Yet another film I have yet to see. And added to the list, like it isn’t long enough already.
On the cooking front, meals from jars are better than meals from packets. And at least your roast chicken came from a chicken. Think what horrid thoughts might run through your head if you’d put in some beef and chicken came out? Actually, that’d probably make you a fortune if you could do it on demand.
And despite the verbal diarrha here, my brain still isn’t working. Hmmm, maybe you already had that one figured out
April 12th, 2006 09:02
Karedy, I’m so glad to hear of fellow dunderheaded washers, no offense.
To tell you the truth, I’m flummoxed that you didn’t like OBWAT?. Baffled and bewildered! It’s one of the all-time greatest movies ever made! But I know some other people who didn’t like it, either. Well, one other person. (Rod, pay attention! I’m talking about you!)
There have got to be people out there who actually cook, don’t you think? My my. I love cooking holiday meals, strangely, but detest doing it on a daily basis. I also can’t bake worth crap. xo
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Fency, your currently nonworking brain only endears you to me more. Or endears me to you. I can never get that straight.
Remember that soylent-green-is-people episode of Buffy, during which we were all primed to think the fast food place was using people as meat, when all along the patties were (spoiler)?? I’ve been thinking of using dogs.
Hey, maybe your brain already left for vacation? It’s a couple days early, but I say, leave it be. It needs a break. xo
April 12th, 2006 09:04
Oh wait, FENCE!!!!! Don’t rent OBWAT? yet. Wait awhile to see if that stinkin’ damn package ever arrives. (Did you get that major, unsubtle hint?) If you don’t get the package, THEN you can rent the movie, which will hopefully become one of your favorites, too. xo
April 12th, 2006 09:04
You mentioned three of my favorite words/topics in your blog today.
Monkey
Fart
O Brother Where Art Though
Hi Kelly have a snappy day!
April 12th, 2006 09:07
It’s snappier Kass, now that you’ve shown up.
Thanks for reiterating three of MY favorite words, too! Weehee! I’ve decided to use the word ‘monkey’ every day until I can no longer get away with it, like, if people start throwing poop at me (like monkeys!) Clues like that. xo
April 12th, 2006 09:08
I always thought being in a convent would be a barrel of laughs. I mean I’ve seen The Sound of Music. And I’ve seen Sister Act 1 and 2. But I can’t make clothes out of curtains and I can’t sing, so I guess being a nun isn’t such a good idea after all. Oh well.
April 12th, 2006 09:12
If you could make clothes out of curtains, Heathy, I would call you Scarlett, not Sistah Thang. And I’ll sing on your behalf (though I’m no Celine, or even Cedric the Entertainer) ala Cyrano de Bergerac, and together we’ll get the fair maid Roxanne to fall in love with you.
That is what you’re angling for, right? xo
April 12th, 2006 09:15
Also, FENCE!!! I can’t get to your site! Whazzup?
April 12th, 2006 09:43
“I guess I’m the only one who remains unaffiliated.” George Cluny after the other two have been baptised and Tommy has sold his soul to the devil.
“You boys are dumber than a box of hammers.”
“Mister, some of your foldin’ money’s come unstoled.”
“Oh, George. Not the livestock.”
O Brother Where Art Thou? is one of the top five movies of all time. I’m not sure if it’s 3, 4 or 5, but it’s in there.
Hello, Kelly.
April 12th, 2006 10:23
Sorry I didn’t call back later to actually talk to you. I went out to lunch with Robert Jones and Steve Maclurg, then to a baseball game with them. Then I came home and made dinner because Ruth Ann has phlebitis (sp?) so she has to stay off her feet for a few days and then when she goes back to work next week she has to wear a special support stocking. We had the always wonderful sausage and eggs combination for dinner last night. Tonight I would like to try the spaghetti with vodka sauce but I cant find the recipe anywhere. Take care
April 12th, 2006 11:13
I can’t get there either. Feck.
April 12th, 2006 11:32
Mornin’ Kell.
I was so exhausted by your post yesterday I couldn’t even respond, so I cannot begin to imagine how worn out you are. I was sort of expecting you to have fallen off the face of the earth today - but am relieved to find you here, shaven head and all.
Cooking is a mixed bag for me. I love the chance to cook for special occasions and for guests - but the day to day stuff? Not so much. That’s one of the hardest things about being a mom, I think. The darn kids need something to eat THREE TIMES A DAY!!! It’s a killer. If I lived alone I could survive on coffee and granola bars. But the other people in this house want real food. Darn it all. Too bad we can’t just throw a chicken in with the laundry and have it come out of the dryer fully seasoned and cooked to perfection. Wouldn’t that kill two birds with one stone???
April 12th, 2006 12:30
I’m too distraught about AD to talk about it much. A friend of mine wants to name her son (when she has one) Asher Tobias and when she told me I acutally laughed at her. She had never seen AD so I explained, that while that was a good name, I will never be able to take a Tobias seriously in my life.
Can I have my bra back? The kicky turquoise accents will go well with the deeper teal base of the bra. Man, I miss that bra! I’ll have to look for another when I’m home in Spain in May.
April 12th, 2006 13:45
You did! You had me for a moment! I am so gullible. Which actually works out well for my friends. Especially those that like to (shave their heads for fake or) make up fun stories to trick me. ; ) And you are never a barrel full of yucks, even when you speak of power of attorney and garlic sauce. : ) smooches from (midway to Alabama and thus) Minnesota!
April 12th, 2006 13:51
hi, i just got here thru google.com:) really nice blog site:) anyway greetings from Poland - Europe, good job here really cause i know blog-job isnt so easy to make i have tried several times:D i guess somewhere in the net are few piece of it stilll, srry that im not responding on above message:) U have really nice boys:) specially Van is cool.
im 22 studing business management:) last semester for bachelors degree:) i guess i will look in here time to time, have nice day! here in europe its quite late evening already!
greetz again
**Justine**
April 12th, 2006 14:54
Once you get started on the OBWAT? quoting, it’s impossible to stop, isn’t it, Scotty? I agree with you: top 5 EASILY. Why the Academy doesn’t just cave in to popular demand and create a category for Best Comedy is beyond me. Tons of good movies are missing out on the recognition they deserve. There should be a category for Most Quotable Movie, too. “And stay outa the Woolswarth!”
Hello there, A. Scotty xo
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Roddy, phlebitis? I don’t know exactly what that is, but I assume it’s something that’s settled in Ruth Ann’s legs (I’m quick!) and it sounds painful. Poor Ruthie. Please give her a hug from me. Sausage-and-eggs sounds really good, actually; very proteiny. I love protein and protein byproducts. And I laughed when I saw that you couldn’t find the recipe for vodka sauce, but seeing as you’ve actually worked as a cook before, I shouldn’t have been surprised. Roddy, I get mine from a jar. It’s nummy, too, our favorite.
I haven’t seen Steve and Robert in forever. I’ll bet they look old now. Sigh. I mean, HUGE sigh. Where’s the time gone? xo
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Nines, I commiserate. Frakk. So say we all. xo
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Cath, GOOD one on roping the proverb in with the illustration. You’re a sly one. I, too, wish for more combining of the appliances, but alas. I don’t have the skills. My skills tend to run along the lines of bowhunting, and numchuck, and computer hacking. I’m also training to be a cage fighter, but you already knew that.
So, what are you making for dinner tonight? I was supposed to go grocery shopping earlier, but then, I didn’t. We’d have cold cereal, but we’re out of milk. I guess it’s dog food again. Or scrambled eggs. xo
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Jenns, no, I’m afraid I’m wearing it. I like how the teal offsets the blue tinge of my fishbelly white skin, and it brings out the green in my eyes. Plus, it makes my boobs look plump. I don’t know - that made me laugh all of a sudden…
I’m sorry for mentioning AD; I really am. The pain is still too near to write a lament about it… I would have TOTALLY laughed at any friend planning to name anybody they owned ‘Tobias’. Ah David Cross, the only Tobias that will ever be… snif. xo
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Ooh, Kerrinoodle, being friends with you is gonna be FUN. I have SOOOO many lies to tell you! They’re just lining up as we speak…
Do you live in Minnesota? I thought you were only a few hours away from Portland… I thought maybe, BEND, or something. (No, that wasn’t a command. Really! Get up, people are watching!)
You should try the vodka sauce. I’m not kidding! xo
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Justine, welcome! And, are you hitting on my son? Well, I can understand that; after all, he IS a handsome devil, isn’t he?
Good work on getting your bachelors. One semester left? Yay for you! My wish for you is that you’ll make oodles of money in whatever business you choose to go into. Maybe you could sell cat clothes.
I hope you have a nice day (or late evening for you!) too… xo
April 12th, 2006 15:33
Phlebitis is a condition where the valves in the veins don’t allow for smooth flow of the blood in the veins. I will attempt to make something yummy for dinner, cant go get the bottle of vodka, broke til Friday. The only good thing about OBWAT is the music. It is Roberts Favorite movie.
April 12th, 2006 16:21
“Plump” what a lovely word! That’s exactly why I loved that bra. And it had nice thin straps that looked sexy and was totally smooth (no seams) and was all around wonderful. I didn’t think it made my skin look any whiter or anything, so I’m sorry it does make yours.
Do you really get to “own” children? I need to get me one of those.
My mother used “aplomb” in her comment to me. Which is also a great word.
April 12th, 2006 17:39
If Asia would come home from work early like he said he was going to - I’m going to go get a bottle of vodka and make this:
http://pasta.allrecipes.com/az/96944.asp
If he doesn’t get home in time, I think we’ll have pancakes. Wednesday is a good ‘breakfast for dinner’ sort of night, don’tcha think?
April 12th, 2006 18:42
Roddy, you great vast lovable nimenog, I mean the tomato-based SAUCE that’s from a jar, not the alcohol-riven “sauce” that’s from a bottle. I’ve heard Newman’s Own is good, though I get the knock-off brand. You can find it at Fred Meyer’s, I’m sure.
The only thing good about OBWAT? is everything, and I’ll stand by my story until the end of time.
xo
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“The young, pale-skinned woman handled the attention she received for her plump bosoms with aplomb.” Of course, I rarely handle anything with aplomb, as you know, Jenns. Klutz Klub, remember?
OH yeah, the whole REASON you have kids is to create your own slave nation. C’MON! xo
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Cath, I can’t believe that now you’re trying to get me to look at recipes. Did my kids put you up to this? You know, breakfast for dinner is one of my favorite inventions. I mean, not MY personal invention, but I sincerely bless the gal or guy or, actually probably, the cowpoke who originally thought of it. Maybe it was hobbits? It was probably hobbits. xo
April 12th, 2006 22:40
I’m with Rod. I really didn’t like OBWAT either. I’m emailing you about meeting my mom and I for coffee thurs. xo
April 12th, 2006 22:58
I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with you peeps, but you KNOW I love you dearly anyway, Jeans. Thursday, as in tomorrow?? Okay, we’ll write… kiss xo
April 13th, 2006 02:49
The server people just went doo-lally for a while. And, also, your hint, ooooh. Maybe I’ll ring An Post and go “Oi! you! where’s my post!”
April 13th, 2006 04:26
And I forgot to say I adore OBWAT and had no idea Fenciness didn’t own it. Bewildered.
April 13th, 2006 05:38
Fency, you totally need to do that, dude. It was a FUN package! A FUN one! Sigh.
You could throw stuff at them, too. LPs don’t work all that great, as we’ve all seen. A cricket bat? Yes.
Nines loved the movie!! That’s a good omen.
Hi Nines!
Try to hold off rewatching it for a tiny little bit, okay? xo
April 13th, 2006 07:33
Hi Kelly! Kiss and hug!
April 13th, 2006 08:04
Hi toodles. I was thinking as I wrote my last post that Torie seems a lot like you: fierce and loyal and (non-passively) aggressive. I really admire those traits.
xo