Cleanup on Aisle Seven
When I was at the Food Lion not too long ago, a lady in front of me was looking for her glasses, and I pointed and said, “They’re right there, on the conveyance belt.” It didn’t occur to me until I was almost to the car that what I meant was “conveyer”. I’ve never shopped there again. Here are just a few items floating through my mind that have been price-checked and beeped, and are ready to be bagged:
Jess was telling me a dream he had that featured, among other savoury bits, a female witch doctor handing him a stone covered with symbols. I told him that was clearly a message from his primeval ancestors, that the collective unconscious was attempting to tell him something, and that I can’t wait until he begins to read Jung’s philosophies in his studies. He then told me that he was going to stick with the purely Freudian notion that his dream was about either death, or sex. Smartaaaasss. I’ve always known there’d come a day he knows more than me, and I’m beginning to think maybe it occurred sometime last week, and I missed it. The thought is both frightening, and exhilarating.
Clare, my titian hair WILL indeed be flowing behind me as I walk on the beach, because Nines, I did indeed dye it back to glorious red. I’m, basically, screwed, because when I get old? I’m afraid I’m going to look like Lucille Ball, all wrinkly skin and red hair, in that I don’t know how to make a graceful transition to grey. I imagine this will involve an intricate and complex system of ever-increasing highlights and lowlights, none of which I’m adept at creating myself, and how am I going to afford going to the hairdresser on social security alone, when all I can afford to eat is cat food in my sweltering section 8 trailer house?
You are never too old to have your heart broken, but I still recommend it. It’s worth all the pain in the world to be loved, and to love somebody back.
I’m not sure what I’ll do today. One thing’s sure, though: Arrested Development, season 3, is coming in the mail today, so at dinnertime Jess and Torie and I are going to huddle around the tv watching it while we munch on Nana San’s hibachi chicken, steamed rice, and mixed vegetables. Except Jesse always gets beef. And the good times, they keep a-rollin. Love to you all! kiss xo
August 29th, 2006 08:37
Aha! My spies keep me informed, I KNEW about the hair
Just call me your friendly neighbourhood stalker!! (only joking…)
Just one question…will the catfood be chicken or beef? haha! (Or maybe catfood should be fish???)
August 29th, 2006 08:48
Comment withdrawn. Red-headed Kelly is good. Couldn’t picture you with brown hair at all.
:-)
Just had lunch with Mal. Had no idea you two mailed each other so much! Wow. How DO you find the time?
I’m staying with the lovely and wonderful Fence tonight and we’re going to the cinema. YAY!
Natural redheads usually fade, sometimes to a sort of ash-blond. So if you had red hair with subtle blond highlights, you could increase the blond and tone down the red over the years, so you would look natural! See, I have solutions for all things.
August 29th, 2006 09:13
I meant to add that you could get this done by trainee hairdressers.
August 29th, 2006 09:47
Mornin’ Kell.
It’s thunderstormy today and there are crows eating worms in my neighbors front yard.
I’m impressed that you remembered that you said ‘conveyance.’ I do stupid stuff all the time, but I forget things. My kids are forever saying funny stuff, but unfortunately, I can never remember what they aid to tell Asia about it. Remembering is good. It will serve you well when you’re in the nursing home with your parchment like skin and your flaming red hair. You can regale the staff with funny stories. You’ll be the most popular resident there. I can see it now.
August 29th, 2006 09:48
‘what they aid’ is obviously supposed to be ‘what they said.’
Stupid fingers.
August 29th, 2006 10:40
Oh My Gosh! I can’t belive that season three is out already! I’ll have to order it in double-quick time so that I can take it to Korea with me next week. I have lost track of these things without Charles here to do the dirty work of surfing the internet. I hope the season is good!
August 29th, 2006 11:26
Speaking of sex and death (as Jesse was), Kelly, I read a book once that said they are basically the same thing. It was called “clock of ages”, all about ageing. It said that when organisms started reproducing sexually their life-expectancy diminished radically. Worth it, though.
Classy opening to a post, by the way.
August 29th, 2006 14:51
Claredy, admit it. You’re angling for an invitation to dinner, aren’t you? Honestly, I believe the cat food should be dog, in the spirit of poetic justice.
And I SAW you outside my house the other day, in your little trenchcoat. Gangstah.
xo
@@@
Nines, you are SO SMART! That’s exactly what I’m going to do with my hair! Yay! Perfect… and of course, as Torie either wants to be a hair stylist, or a kindergarten teacher, when she grows up, I know what to start pushing her towards. Duh.
And so you know, there isn’t enough time in the DAY to write to Mal. I’d take up residence on his lap if I could. I love him.
What are you going to see tonight with our Fency? xo
@@@
Hey Cath, darlin. It MIGHT be shaping up to be stormy here; I just wish it would make up its mind already. I love thunderstorms. And so you know, I ALWAYS remember my own stupid remarks, but never anybody else’s, which I suppose DOES make me the perfect nursing home resident. That’s SOOOO encouraging. ha! xo
@@@
Jenns, I’ve heard it’s good, but it’s short. Only 13 episodes. Thirteen golden episodes to be savoured slowly because that’s all there is!!!! Boooo!!! And it didn’t even end up coming today. Grr. I’m just full of angry noises today.
Please give Chaz a hug, and make him give you one. I hope you guys have lots of making-up-for-time sex, and that it’s better than ever. kiss you xo
@@@
Mally, you KNOW that the French call orgasms “le petit morte” or something like that. So, yes, sex and death ARE closely related. Those French, so astute. Also, I told Nines I want to sit on your lap for the rest of my life, let alone yours, I hope you don’t mind. I’ll be quiet. kiss xo
August 30th, 2006 05:37
Went to see Lady in the Water and I really liked it. So there. Nyah nyah nyah.
Does Scott know you want to sit on Mal’s lap and like telling him about orgasms?
I can’t believe you like Mal enough that you can forgive him for swearing to me that he would give Buffy a reasonable chance - watching all of season one and some of season two - before making a decision on it, but then barely made it through episode one! I still can’t forgive him for it.
August 30th, 2006 05:54
I am utterly SHOCKED, Nines my love, that the two women who were instrumental in introducing me to the denizens of Sunnydale, CA, thus changing my life forever, would actually like Lady in the Water, instead of want to laugh at it like hyenas.
sigh. It’s going to take me awhile to get over this.
As far as Scott knowing I want to sit on Mal’s lap, and inform him about orgasms? Seeing as he reads my blog, he probably does, and I figure that if he knew Mal he’d want to do the same. This is an equal opportunity blog.
Lady in the Water? Really? O, Nines.
xo
August 30th, 2006 06:14
I know all about orgasms, do you think I’m stupid? There are single-celled orgasms and multi-cellular orgasms. Every fool knows that.
Not sure about Scott sitting on my knee. People are so narrow-minded. Oh all right, maybe in private.
August 30th, 2006 06:16
Oh, and I love you too, but you know that already, right?
August 30th, 2006 06:51
haha! Yes, you’d think that Nines, being a high-falutin’ lawyer-type, would be well aware that everybody knows all about single-celled orgasms, et al. It’s taught here in nursery school, for the love of… In fact, I got my first “microscope” when I was, oh, well.
Scott just called, Mally, and asked which knee you prefer. He also asked which you’d like better: vanilla, or chocolate, body mousse. Honestly. I keep TELLING him this is a family blog. So, chocolate? kiss xo
August 30th, 2006 06:55
Screw you. My opinions are my own and thus are right. Mal’s opinions on Buffy might be his own, but they are also WRONG.
Simple.
August 30th, 2006 06:59
It makes knee difference to me. I lap it all up.
August 30th, 2006 07:55
Nines, the thing I like most about you is how subtle you are, and graceful in your opinions. Oh, and how generous you are in allowing other people their own.
Goodness. Of COURSE you can like Lady in the Water, and Mal can hate Buffy, and I can hate Lady, and love Buffy. It’s possible we can all agree on chocolate. Mmm, chocolate, Nines… kiss xo
@@@
Mally, ha! You will be the Knights of Knee. xo
August 30th, 2006 08:00
No, Mal CAN’T hate Buffy. Because he didn’t watch it. Uninformed opinions don’t count in My World.
Chocolate is good.
I just got a job interview! So if I fail my exams, I can sit the interview and be solvent and useful for another year. YAY! If I don’t fail my exams, I go to college and am insolvent. DOUBLE YAY!
August 30th, 2006 08:39
Insolvency with purpose is to be admired. What kind of job are you interviewing for, Nines? I assume it’s in your field, and not at Taco Bell, but what perzackly? xo
August 30th, 2006 08:44
Legal researcher for one of a few governmental organisations involved in refugee/asylum work. I used to work in the area before, though not for one of those organisations. The work sounds very interesting and the pay is better than I’m on now. It’s pretty much ideal but if I get the exams, I’ll kiss it goodbye without much of a pang!
August 30th, 2006 14:56
You are never going to look old. I already decided. It’s impossible! for you. Because you are lovely. And red-haired, and fun. And also, you will have eternal beauty. Like Spike. The end.
Only you know, not.
Loves and many smooches to you, my KellBell.
Also! My babycarrot sister got married! on Monday. MARRIED! And it was perfect. Ok, call me. ; )
September 2nd, 2006 00:20
That. Was. So. Funny. All of it–the conversation after the post, especially. I am almost GLAD I didn’t read this post until three days late.
I have to tell ya, though, Kell. I ordered Jeff Buckley. Hmm…I think the jury’s still out. But there are more votes against than for at the moment. I’m letting it stew for a month or two, then I’ll try again. That’s what I did with Switchfoot’s “Beautiful Letdown” and ended up loving it to death. So, you never know…Jeffey might grow on me.
Anyhoo, goodnight, and good weekend to you. And you. And you. (That would be to everyone else here.)