Got a Monster in my Closet
Hello babies. I’m so sorry… lately, I’ve just been out of touch with the bloggy world. I still think of you. Many times during the day I’ll wonder, what’s Peefer thinking about his penis today? Or, why did Patchouli stop being a model, because she’s so gorgeous? Or, how did Melanie become fixated on Skeletor; was it a date gone wrong? And that kind of thing. I just can’t always muster up the energy to lift a finger to click on links, or use them all to write about my unbelievably boring life. I’m amazed that some of you still show up, seriously. Amazed and grateful.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you how happy Gnarls Barkley makes me. I’ve just been dancing around to their newest (or only?) album. They’re one of the most innovative artistical musical duos I’ve heard in ages; in fact, since *Fweddy and his magical fwute. They’re awesome, and my dogs think so, too - even Willow, my coffee-addicted one. Or, at least, they think I’M awesome, because they can’t take their eyes off me while I’m dancing around.
I was thinking about that the other day, because I noticed that my dogs watch me nearly every second they’re awake, and I thought, Lordy - how exhausting to be a dog, making sure the Alpha doesn’t make some move that either constitutes rolling in another dog’s shit, or eating somebody, possibly them. No wonder they sleep most of the day away. Maybe, like newborns, they’re trying to shut out The Overwhelming World. That’s why I sleep, anyway.
I was also wondering today what lies Fence’s dog has been telling her. I think it would be pretty funny to tell her that football’s been outlawed in Ireland. Happy Halloween, sweet things. kiss xo
*Okay, who doesn’t love the fact that in My Name is Earl, whenever the TV’s on, it’s playing H.R. Puf-N-Stuf?
October 31st, 2006 14:27
He lied and told me that there was a stranger at the door, but then it ended up just being one of the brothers’ cronies. Whereupon he promptly rolled over to have his belly scratch.
He is such a fibber, pretending to be a big fierce guard-dog when in actual fact he is nothing but a big black puppy.
October 31st, 2006 14:31
Did you give the crone some candy? Because it IS Halloween, you know. Oh, wait, though. You said one of his CRONIES, which is not at all the same thing. It would be funny if it was, though, don’t you think, Fency?
Is this a new puppy? As in, yours? Not your family’s beach dog? If so, what’s his name? If you haven’t named him yet (and of course you have), I vote for Conan. As in Barbarian, not O’Brien. xo
November 1st, 2006 06:59
No new puppy, just the big black lump of canine laziness at home
If the cronies had been a crone then I may have given her sweets, but because it wasn’t I didn’t. See.
November 1st, 2006 07:23
That makes perfect sense, of course.
Your dog’s name IS Conan, right? xo
November 1st, 2006 10:02
It can be. He is a dog of many titles. Shady, Mutt, Brat, Liar, Puppy, Destructo-dog, Lump of a yoke, Dogfrey, Dog, Oi You!. Why not add Conan to the mix. I’m sure he respond to it, provided you had a bribe on hand.
November 1st, 2006 10:11
Does he eat coffee beans, though?
November 1st, 2006 10:42
No. He does however eat peanuts. Cracks open the shells and chews them up.
November 1st, 2006 11:28
I read that six times before believing that you said exactly what I thought you said.
November 1st, 2006 11:31
We should start a contest to see who has the most boring life. At least you are dancing around. I’m reading about chemistry. Maybe Heather Anne would give us a turkey trophy for this contest.
November 1st, 2006 12:15
Um, hi Peef. I didn’t think you’d be offended, in that - I swear to you - you can check it out for yourself - you mention your penis in every other post. SERIOUSLY, dude. I think it’s great. xo
@@@
Jenns, Boring is the new Exciting, just like 40 is the new 20. So be happy you’re reading about chemistry; at this rate, you’re way ahead of us all, and you’d get the trophy if we had one. I’ll mention it to Heathy. xo
November 1st, 2006 13:06
I totally have to remember that Boring is the new Exciting. I’m used to sayings like, “Only boring people get bored” and “if you’re bored I will find something for you to do”. Both were used extensively by my mother. I’m going to pull out your new phrase to use on her!
November 1st, 2006 13:26
Kelly, that’s SO UNFAIR! I did a search for “penis” on my own site, and it only came up with sixty-three results, which is clearly less than half. AND one of these was about David Hasselhoff’s member, not mine. That means I’m batting way under 500.
At any rate, I’m glad your wondering what I’m thinking about it, rather than wondering about it directly, because that would be so terribly, wrongly, unhealthily, and inappropriately flattering.
November 1st, 2006 13:57
Jenns, you will be on the cutting edge of parenting, with your new phrase. That is, if you have kids tomorrow. By Friday, the phrase will be passe and we’ll have to think of a new one. Oh yeah, but you can DEFINITELY use it on your mom. xo
@@@
Oh, Peef, you’re right. My most sarcastic apologies for grossly exaggerating your overwhelming obsession with your little friend. Really, I’m sorry.
Also, I knew I done wrote that bit about your little friend real confusing-like, but I didn’t want to change it, in hopes that you’d spend a happy fifteen minutes thinking somebody else might be obsessed with it, too. Everybody needs their brush with fame. xo
November 13th, 2006 10:40
[…] “Kelly says you are, and she’s the friendliest blogger on the internet. Are you calling Kelly a big fat liar? […]