Drively doo
Blogs are so weird. Sometimes we pour out our hearts, cry and sob and anguish and complain so we can get a little sympathy, any amount will do thank you. And sometimes we write utter nonsense in an attempt to make people laugh at us and thus feel better about themselves, or get ourselves committed if life gets too overwhelming and we can’t find the Vicodin. We write to a tiny select audience that, if we’re lucky, grows by two or three a year until we have a tidy little community established, then we say something offensive and lose one or two of them, or change our lifestyle and lose half of them, or become a television star and gain thousands more.
All in all, we just want to be loved, don’t we? And known. We just want to be l’own. We want to grab a little attention while the getting is good, while we’re young and our brains are fertile and facile and fulgent. (In a few years I won’t remember those words, which is why I’m writing them now, and also to impress you.) And millions of people have blogs, each with their own little knot of readers, and each of those readers has a little knot of readers, and so it goes, tiny communities scattered along the information highway. And none of this was even a glimmer in our minds when we were sitting two feet from the tv watching Saturday morning cartoons in our jim jams.
While Scott’s been home, he’s: fixed the car doors, washed the car, vacuumed the inside of the car, replaced a fuse so the car stereo works again, repaired the computer desk so the keyboard doesn’t crash down onto our laps every two seconds, bought trim for the kitchen’s tile floor, raked all the leaves and bagged them, grocery shopped once, and taken three bags of used clothing to Ebenezer’s Attic. This has left me time to: finish watching the first season of Six Feet Under. I’m exhausted.
Doesn’t my logo look arabic-ish now? Or do you say Arabian? And have any of you read Tales from the Arabian Nights? It’s downright pornographic. Snap.
We went to the zoo two days ago, which has acres and acres and acres and acres of exotic foliage and, I believe, approximately three animals, two of which were hiding the whole time we were there. Today I still can’t walk without feeling every single muscle in my leg jerk and writhe and scream. It’s like I’m possessed by Joe Cocker, who also mocks me every time I look in the mirror.
“You are… so beautiful… to me…”
“Oh, shut the f* up, Joe.”
I feel smug and pure, using that asterisk. In fact, I’ve been trying to use an asterisk when I cuss out loud now, too, and - I’ll be honest - it’s ffffing boring. But at least now I can be condescending, and you just can’t put a price on that. I hope you guys have a great day. kiss xo
November 29th, 2006 09:36
That Scottie sure does like to clean and fix stuff. When he’s finished at your place, send him over. Arabian Nights makes me think of that song from Aladin:
Arabian nights
‘Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there on the dunes
Yeah I know, that doesn’t have anything to do with anything. I just like Disney movies is all.
November 29th, 2006 09:40
So you say Fasterisk up? Or would it be “Fasteriskasterickk you naughty boy you!”
And yes, your logo does look classy and Arabian (that is easier to say than arabic-ish so even though I’m typing this and not speaking it, I’m still going to say Arabian).
November 29th, 2006 10:01
Hi Heathy. Are you feeling better, honey? This morning I woke up with a tickle in my throat, which, as you know, is nothing to sneeze at. Or… whoa…maybe it is…
Yes, that Scott is a cleanin’, fixin’, fool. Thank God, because I was driving around in a Beverly Hillbillies car, and seriously, we all had knee injuries from this keyboard.
The nice thing about being sick is getting to watch the second season of Six Feet Under sans guilt. Or Lois & Clark. Whatever! kiss xo
@@@
Fencer doodle. I DO say fasterisk up now! And dasterisk and shasterisk, which ALL look arabic-ish, actually, and as far as anyone I know knows, might actually BE arabic. I could create a new language based on a desire to feel smug and pure all the time, or just maintain my current foul-mouthiness. It doesn’t matter. Either way will contribute to my propensity towards alienating people. Score! kiss xo
November 29th, 2006 10:19
I got tagged to do this 6 weird things about me thing.. and I thought I’d tag you , since I enjoy your blog so much, (my way of groveling and simultaneously apologizing), and anyway, if you wouldn’t mind, you could participate, and play along. Thanks.
November 29th, 2006 10:36
Well, hello, Clickmom! Is your name Arabic for something? I just might do your meme, even though I generally regard memes as only slightly less evil than a swarm of killer bees, or a Kenny G concert. But talking about weirdness is kind of fun… At any rate, I’m glad you said hey to me. Hey to you, too! xo
November 29th, 2006 12:35
I have always wanted to read Arabian Nights and NOW, I have been convinced that I must!
I’m glad Scoot is around. Any news on when he will get to come home for good?
November 29th, 2006 12:43
I’m not even going to look up fulgent. I’ll never use it myself, and most likely I’ll never see it again. But still, you’re the best. And the knottiest.
November 29th, 2006 12:44
Hi honey. Well, in addition to all the cleaning and fixing he’s been doing, he’s also been calling around to get prices on Workman’s Comp Ins, and that type of dealio, so he can start his own business here. It’ll be a few months, definitely, but maybe he’ll be home by summer. When does Chaz come back? How long is he in Korea??
Better not read Arabian Nights ’til he’s home. Wink wink. xo
November 29th, 2006 12:44
I broke down and looked it up. Yes, you’re fulgent. You’re the fulgentest.
November 29th, 2006 12:46
Peef, I’m surprised the word fulgent hasn’t shown up on one of your penis posts. Are you getting tired of me mentioning your penis posts? I promise I won’t mention your penis posts again. And penis posts, repeated repeatedly, sounds especially knotty, don’t it? ha! xo
November 29th, 2006 12:47
No, YOU are, Peefer. No, YOU.
November 29th, 2006 12:52
Feck instead of fuck.
Sugar instead of shit.
Heck instead of hell.
Darn instead of damn.
Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng instead of frog-humping son of a bitch.
Easy!
Glad you’re blogging again regular-like Kelly. xxx
November 29th, 2006 13:01
HA! I actually did that when I read your last, Chinesey line. I went HA! and scared my dogs. And you reminded me that my grandma always used to say, “Oh, fuuu..dge” and “Sh…ugar” when she suddenly realized we were in the room. Hi, Nines. How are you, little friend? xo
November 29th, 2006 15:04
I’m grand. Exams in a week and a half *lalala it’s not happening* but they’re only mocks so I shouldn’t stress!!
And now I must go and draft various pleadings and defences and other things I don’t really understand but am learning how to *pretend* I understand. YAY!
November 29th, 2006 15:16
Yes, hurry and become a lawyer so you can defend me when I get in trouble whenever I finally get to visit your beautiful green isle. Yes, I did say “when”, not “if”… sigh. Don’t let me down, Nines. I’m glad you’re doing well. Remember hell month? Remember? xo
November 29th, 2006 17:12
How are you liking 6 feet under? I’m halfway through the second season and I’m majorly hooked. I love it and am attached to all the main characters now. Love it! And you!
I’m one of the ones who lost most of my (already tiny) readers when I left church, had a spiritual crisis and came out. Wimps! Ah well, I don’t have the time to put into blogging that I once did anyhow. so there.
November 29th, 2006 20:44
Twytie, I LOVE Six Feet Under. I finished the first season, and am just about to Netflix the second one. I instantly loved all the characters; they felt like family, in a weird way. So familiar. It’s a great show.
I know, little thing. You get an audience of people who agree with you, but as soon as you veer off the path you were all on, suddenly they begin to drop like flies. BUT, only if they’re not kindreds who go deeper than mere beliefs… You have some, you know. Kindreds. Me, for one. I love you for you. So there. kiss! xo
November 29th, 2006 23:31
Hi, newcomer here: Just curious, what was the one animal you did see?
November 30th, 2006 00:25
Hello, SFGary! Can you believe, it was a squirrel? Seriously, they were everywhere! Nice to meet you.