Love Addiction, American-Style
Good morning, chickapeas. It’s very crisp and cold here; in fact, SO crisp and cold that school is delayed for two hours. Woohoo! I wish they would delay it for another week-and-a-half so that we wouldn’t have to go back at all, but they rarely ever comply with my wishes. I’m only glad the superintendent took my call today. I’ve been stalking him for months now in the quest for sexual favors, but he’s refused to comply. SO FAR. I figure if I change my tactics and go for the school closing favor first, everything else will eventually follow and there will be enough food in Ethiopia and all the planets will be aligned, generating peace on earth or at least good will between Isaac’s and Ishmael’s kids.
Even though I complain loudly about school half the time, I really like it and am a little worried about what to do during the holidays. I’m afraid I’ll be bored without the constant adrenaline rush. I may fall into rampant drug use. Awhile back, when I was making those easter eggs where you blow out the insides by using a hypodermic needle? I went to the pharmacy and asked for the plastic hypodermic part, sans needle, and STILL got the evil eyes and the interrogations about WHAT I was going to use it for. I thought about indignantly pulling up my shirt sleeve and showing them all the suppurated needle marks, but decided that might actually work against me. Finally, I got the plastic hypodermic part. I don’t want to be telling tales out of school, but I WILL reiterate that, people, sexual favors are the way to go. Now, if only Mr. Superintendent would catch on. (Ha. Mr. Suppurintendent. I’m going to remember that one.)
I am really sleepy this morning. The problem with me is that, besides having WAY more than one problem, I can’t go back to sleep once I’m awake. So, even though I have two more glorious hours in which to knock logs with the sandman, I can’t manage it. It’s very frustrating, and it leaves me with nothing to do but my Spanish homework, which is why I’m writing a blog post instead. A blog post that has nothing important to impart whatsoever. I’m really sorry, you guys.
Uh, my dogs look really cute today? Tonight is Chinese food night? I’m looking forward to seeing the third season of Ghost Hunters? Holy smokes, my life is boring. But I only say that for YOUR sake, because I like being bored; it carves out a lot of space for creativity. I’m still drawing in my art journal every day, and am starting to expand my drawings a tad, as I’d kind of gotten into a rut. They look a little more primitive; archetypal, even. It seems maybe I’m digging a little deeper now. I’m reading a book called Is It Love, or Is It Addiction? by Brenda Schaeffer, which is fantastic, and is addressing my propensity towards, well, falling into addiction with people instead of real love. I know it was hard to tell from the title what the book was about, which is why I thought I’d better explain. One amazing thing that’s come from taking General Psychology this term is that I’ve discovered all the crazy patterns of faulty thinking I’ve had. Stuff like: 1) I must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in all possible respects if I am to consider myself worthwhile; 2) it is awful and catastrophic when things are not the way I would very much like them to be; and 3) I need to rely on someone stronger than myself. That’s not even getting INTO my love/addiction beliefs, which are rife.
But hey, look at that! I’m already past the blog roll and into the credits. I love you guys. I hope you have a great day. kiss!
December 7th, 2007 09:34
Hey Kelly, isn’t it amazing where we find out things about ourselves. Life is meant to be a continual growing and learning experience. Those who quit learning and growing become bitter and grumpy people. Well gotta go wake up Ruth Ann so we can go to work. Rains are mostly affecting the coast nothing really affected here.
December 7th, 2007 09:39
Hi, Roddy! I’ve HEARD about the rain over there, and poor Vernonia in particular. Except I didn’t feel too sorry for them, as they were big rivals in high school. (JUST kidding, Vernonia.) It’s terrible.
I agree with you; I think life is meant to be a continual growing and learning experience too, and you’re absolutely right about people who quit doing that, or never ever choose to in the first place. I believe they DO become bitter. My friend Froka and I were just talking about that yesterday. It must be the Topic du Jour.
Enjoy your day at work, Rod! I’M probably going to get to stay HOME! Mwahahaha! But seriously, have a good day. (insert smiley face here) xo
December 7th, 2007 11:15
Happy Christmas Kelly.
Am I too early?
Isn’t always the way that we moan about stuff that we enjoy, but don’t necessarily *like*. If that makes sense?
And good luck with the stalking and the sexual favours.
December 7th, 2007 11:30
Fency, it’s not even noon yet and I’ve had oh SO many sexual favors flung my way it would make your head spin. So, thanks for the luck wishes. Only, what I told you is a total lie.
Your Happy Christmas made me break out temporarily in hives, by the way. Even now I’m hyperventilating. I’m not ready. Not at all. sigh. Are you? No, don’t tell me, because then I’ll cry, too.
And I consider it part of the fun to whine and moan over just about everything! It makes life that much sweeter; for me, anyway. kiss!
December 7th, 2007 12:06
Happy Friday, Kelly. You had 2 whole hours to do the sexual favors (favours for some), but instead you wrote on your blog and studied spanish!!
Sometimes when you learn too much it shakes your core beliefs, however. This could ultimately be a good thing (hopefully), but going through it can be a bitch.
Enjoy your day off!!
December 7th, 2007 13:12
We all grow up with some amazingly bizarre beliefs. Your belief #2 is very common and I would have to say I suffer with it as well. I have this weird belief (I’m sure you can guess where it comes from) that if I act in a loving way toward all people all the time I will never have conflicts or hurt other people and all will be sweetness and light. The problem is that other people don’t act back in a loving way AND I sometimes can’t figure out what the TRULY loving thing to do would be and sometimes I just don’t feel loving, period.
December 7th, 2007 14:42
Frank, my friend! You must be trying to get in good with the Irish contingency, considering your use of “favours.” Nice thinking. You might even get presents, though don’t count on it. And I was wise to forgo the sexual favoring in favour of espanol studying, in that I aced my quiz. YES! It’s just good there are no tests for the OTHER thing.
Frank, you’re totally right about having core beliefs shaken by the things we learn, and don’t you think it’s absolutely necessary to our growth? If they’re shaken, then we’re forced to notice them, and then we can choose to address them (or not). I’d rather always address them, even if it’s hard, because I really do want to become the best person I can be. But yes, it’s INCREDIBLY difficult. I know you’re doing some growth of your own.
(I had to go to school - but I’m off now! Another woohoo!)
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Jennsy, that’s TRUE. The last chapter we studied in Psychology focused a lot on the difference between pre-reflective thinking and critical thinking, and I was APPALLED to find all the ways in which I fell into the former category. At least, DID - I’ve had to change my ways since starting school, and I’m glad. I think religious people are afraid of critical thinking because they, themselves, haven’t thought about why they believe the way they do. It’s a shame, because religion and critical thinking aren’t necessarily incongruent! But it’s not even religion that causes all the problems; it’s just life and all its influences.
I hear you about number 2. And it kind of fits in with my Love/Addiction problems regarding giving love only in order to get love. That sounds okay, doesn’t it? But we really should give love because we ARE love, and because we love OURSELVES and because love is just what we emit like cooties. Jenns, it’s a crazy world. Goodness. But we’re all in the same boat, thankfully, so we’re not alone. xo
December 7th, 2007 14:47
You have a Chinese food night? Can I come live with you? I promise to wash my own dishes, and sing carols.
December 7th, 2007 15:50
Yes it’s necessary for growth, but the problems come when the people close to you in life don’t make it easy for you to believe differently. Screw ‘em all!!! (No, that shouldn’t be taken as an invitation for your sexual favors thing.)
So, do they close the schools for 2 hours just cuz it’s cold, or was there stuff on the ground?
December 7th, 2007 15:51
damn, favours. PLEASE forgive me!!!
December 8th, 2007 09:09
I love it when a writer talks to the camera. It’s fun. You have quite the way with words, you know? I like how you play with language. That’s me, though, I don’t look along the beam, I look at the beam. I read for the words, not the story. That’s my personal psychosis.
Hello, Kelly.
December 8th, 2007 18:07
Do you type right into your template, or something? How cool is that?
I would say that blog posting is one of the top five best ways to procrastinate on doing something. The top five kind of shuffle around positions day-to-day, so it’s kind of tough to nail down where it falls exactly. Art journaling would be on there, I’m guessing. For me, “art journaling” can be read as “scrapbooking.”
Sending uplifting thoughts your way!
Love.
December 9th, 2007 09:40
Oh how I love for a real holiday vacation…course, I’m getting a baby vacation but I don’t think that will be quite the same thing. Granted, there will probably be a lot of sitting around in my jammies and having someone else cook my food…but a lot less watching cartoons, movies and sleeping in until noon. And there will still be some form of work. Or so I assume…