Run away! But stay within shouting distance.
Good morning, peepholes. I feel that today is the last day I can truly breathe for another four months. Tomorrow I have to go to the campus bookstore and buy my textbooks because school starts on Monday. sigh. Whenever I feel stress creeping in on me I try to remember that the point is not the grades I get, but the fact that I’m in school at all; the point is to keep moving until I finish, like a shark. But the higher part of my psyche keeps chiming in with, “No, that’s not the point, sweetie peas. The point is to LEARN. Your grades only reflect how well you’ve learned, and if you get less than an A, that indicates that you haven’t learned perfectly, and by GEORGE, if you haven’t learned perfectly, then you are going to fall flat on your face when it comes to actually applying all those years’ worth of information.”
The higher part of my psyche can be a real jerk sometimes, and I don’t even agree with it in this case, or at least, only to a point. I think it’s inevitable that I fall down whenever I try something new, no matter how much information I’ve gleaned about it beforehand. I think a person learns more through participation than by observation, though I try my best to avoid it. I always have preferred to sit on the sidelines instead of play in the game, until recently. Now I’m ready to suit up. Kind of. Could I have another week, though? Please? During the break I didn’t get to papier-mache anything, or hang the pictures in the family room, or paint the bathroom orange. I barely got all the clothes in my room folded, and since that was last week there’s a whole new bunch to rassle with. One thing I am determined to do today, however, is go through my closet and put outfits together for the winter.
I adore outfits, but you’d never EVER know that by looking at me. By looking at me you’d think I adore rolling out of bed and pulling on the first thing I find on the floor. But I’ve started watching Smallville, and you know Chloe? Any of you who’ve seen Smallville? I LOVE how she dresses: it’s all layers and boots and tights and skirts and scarves. Delish. That’s my look, if only I can muster up the energy to implement it instead of sleepwalk over to the same old boring wrinkled jeans and tops. I’d like to have some style this year at school.
Okay, which reminds me of something I was going to say earlier. I was thinking last night, as I lay in bed, that four months to learn each particular subject, even if you’re in school for years, doesn’t truly prepare you for the application of it. Of course, that fits into the category of observation rather than participation, doesn’t it? I mean, we participate in our classes, surely, but it isn’t until we actually take up our occupation that we learn. sigh. And even then, I wonder how much you really know. C.G. Jung told his students to learn everything they could about psychology and then immediately forget it the minute they met their next patient, because every single individual is different and needs to be approached from a fresh perspective. I think that’s so wise, and also, freaking terrifying. Psychologists bear so much responsibility; even one misspoken word can throw a fragile and vulnerable soul into turmoil; the thought of that scares me and propels me back into the arms of chicken wire and cardboard, flour and water, and orange paint. Or into the closet, choosing outfits. Or even the reassuring and safe seat behind a computer screen, sharing my thoughts from a distance. Well, life. Isn’t it interesting? Hey you guys! Happy day to you all.
January 3rd, 2008 11:37
Happy day to YOU! Anyone else ever felt that, after Christmas and New Year (the whole season going on so freaking long) you tend to find it strange that there are just plain old days, days with no special theme or flavour?
I know what Jung means and it IS scary. It reminds me of all those generals planning an invasion or attack, who know they have to be meticulously prepare for it, but who know that it will all be likely rendered irrelevant in a few moments, and their commanders will have to improvise from that moment on.
I love layers too! One of my favourite parts of winter is seeing people snug inside their overcoats and undercoats and jumpers and heavy boots and hats and scarves! Skimpy outfits are NOT sexy!
Oh Lord, why does winter EVER have to end?
I hope you continue kicking ass in school this term, Kelly. But I KNOW you will.
January 3rd, 2008 11:37
Hope the semester goes well Kelly!
January 3rd, 2008 12:40
Kelly, we all bear great responsibility for the words we speak. Not only psychologists, but parents, friends and even enemies can throw a fragile soul into turmoil with one misspoken word. Yet few of us are careful with what we say.
I have always wanted style but I’m just too lazy to have it. After you get your style back do you want to come put effort into my style? Until then I’ll be wearing the same yoga pants I wore yesterday along with the huge teeshirts that are getting tight around my baby belly.
January 3rd, 2008 15:06
Kells bells…I always have grand schemes of fabulous outfits…and then always gravitate towards the same cozy comfy things. Let me tell you, maternity clothing is even more of a challenge. I’m not really always all into the flowy-baggy-tie-back look.
Good luck going back to school!
January 3rd, 2008 15:59
I’m glad I’m a guy & don’t have the pressure of wearing outfits and layers and stuff. Just jeans & any kind of shirt (not top) I choose to wear and I’m good to go. Simple clothing for a simple guy.
Have fun at school!
January 3rd, 2008 16:58
Kick ass in school Kelly. When you get a job what you learned will flow through you if you really learned it. It’s just a different Hawaiian shirt and blue jeans for me each day. The only day I am concerned is Sunday, so that Ruth Ann and I complement each other. I wouldn’t mind going back to school, although right now I am not sure for what. Have a great four months and maybe someday more parts of your family will venture west again.
January 4th, 2008 05:52
I’d give the higher part of your psyche a good talking to, honestly, it should be more supportive and encouraging.
Good morning.
January 4th, 2008 15:03
May be of some interest to you….
Only by reason of the fact that the persona is a more or less al
or arbitrary segment of collective psyche can we make the mistake
of accepting it in toto as something “individual.” But, as its name
shows, it is only a mask for the collective psyche, a mask that feigns
individuality, and tries to make others and oneself believe that one
is individual, whereas one is simply playing a part in which the
collective psyche speaks.
When we analyze the persona we strip off the mask, and discover
that what seemed to be individual is at bottom collective, in other
words, that the persona was only a mask for the collective psyche.
Fundamentally the persona is nothing real; it is a compromise
between the individual and society as to what a man should appear
to be. He takes a name, earns a title, represents an office; he is this
or that. In a certain sense all this is real, yet in relation to the
essential individuality of the person concerned it is only a
secondary reality, a product of compromise, in making which others
often have a greater share than he. The persona is a semblance; a
two dimensional reality. Jung….
January 8th, 2008 01:32
When I was a kid, I read “The Babysitter’s Club” semi-religiously, and Claudia was my hero. She had long hair which she did differently every day, and wore the coolest clothes. If you look at my junior-high-school pictures, you’ll see a wanna-be-Claudia staring at you–from behind really, really thick glasses that had one arm attached with Scotch tape.
Cool? Not so much.