Wasn’t there water here?

Two things I need to say right off the bat:

1) I miss kissing and

2) Last night, when I was monkeying around with my site in the wee hours, I broke something. As you can see, the righthand column has disappeared. I launched an email to Steve the Computer Vunderkind, so hopefully it’ll be fixed soon. Don’t despair. I didn’t get rid of you all because I don’t like you. In fact, I miss you so much I could break down at any moment.

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A bunch of random thoughts have flitted through my mind this morning and are in fact now circling my head and bugging the crap out of me. I’m going to try to capture a few of the more annoying of them.

@ Most people think she’s adorable, and don’t get me wrong - she is. But I can’t stand it when Tiny Cat turns somersaults on my bare feet and rubs her eye juice on them. I tap dance every time she skitters into the room, unless I’m wearing shoes.

@ Should this person really be raising future members of society?:

“Mom, can I have a dollar?”

“Torie, you’ve been asking for a dollar every day. That’s $20 a week for juice product extras! Have some water!”

Maybe I should have some water and spend a little quality time with a kindergarten math book instead of my precious sudoku magazine.

@ On the way home from the Charlotte airport last week, Jesse was hungry so we pulled off onto an exit to Huntersville, as he was attracted - like a polar bear to a penguin - to the bright beacon light of the Dairy Queen sign. While he sauntered in to order a sandwich, I made a beeline for The Book Nook next door. They were having a sale, the clerk informed me. “Buy five, get two free.”

Math idiots of all kinds should not be trusted around monies. I think that should be clear by now, don’t you?

The clerk and I proceeded to enter into an Abbott and Costelloesque conversation which I’m quite sure entertained the other customers hugely, as I swear I heard guffaws from somewhere in Science Fiction, and a couple of hoots from Biographies. We still didn’t have it straight by the time I got to the counter with my five books.

“Okay,” I said. “Here are my five books. Whew.”

She looked at me. “But you can get two more. The two more are free.”

By this point I was torn between tossing my books at her head and resting my forehead on the counter for a little private cry. “But I don’t want to buy this many. I thought two of them were free!”

Thankfully, Jess also wanted books, so with both of us putting a couple back and then combining our purchases, it all came out okay. It’s mind-boggling how a person like me can be the product of two eminently practical people. My brother is also an eminently practical man, on whom people actually call for help. Me?

God almighty.

No, I’m not saying I’m God Almighty. I’m saying it’d be a whole lot easier for me now had he inserted at least a couple molecules of sense into my brain when he first started messing around with it.

@ At The Book Nook, I put back a volume of W.B. Yeats poetry so I could buy The Unofficial X-Files Companion: An X-Philes Guide to the Mysteries, Conspiracies, and Really Strange Truths Behind the Show by N.E. Genge, which sounds like a made-up name. It was published in 1995 and I thought it would be fun to leave you with this little excerpt. How technology flies. The author was discussing how the writers played loosely with what computers were really capable of.

“In End Game, for example, Scully gets her electronic mail from Mulder’s machine. Hundreds of people on the Internet would love to be able to pull off that trick.”

Ha. Bye, babies. xo