Newt news

Okay, okay… You know it’s been too long between posts when your friends start discussing you in third person. Like, at a wake. So, I’m going to pull myself up out of the muck and force something out of this brain of mine. It won’t be funny, or poignant, or inspirational. I doubt it’ll even be intelligible, and trust me - if I wasn’t typing - it wouldn’t be legible either.

A couple weeks ago I got bitten by something, some poisonous critter that left my right arm infected, which subsequently caused me to break out in hives all over my body. I thought, initially, that it was blood poisoning and so set about making my peace with God and man, but it turns out it was nothing as dire as that. It was pretty bad though, so don’t put the violins away yet. I was really sick, and on massive antibiotics, and no allergy medicine or itch cream could touch those hives, baby. I was in agony.

But… I got bettah. Except - for some slap-crappy reason - I’m depressed, and here it is the first day of autumn, my favorite season in the universe. No, it’s not because of Steve Irwin, God bless him… It’s just this general sense of malaise, and loneliness, mixed with a little hopelessness. Fun, huh? You should try it! (no! don’t.)

Jesse, the burgeoning psychology major, insists that 98% of my funk has to do with the fact that I’ve stayed in bed watching TV on dvd for two weeks straight, and that it’s about time I got off my ass and did something, preferably with a friend, but what the hell does he know? Newbie.

Yeah yeah YEAH, I know he’s right. You don’t have to shout.

Here’s a piece of happy news, though: Van has officially left Iraq, and is on his way home. He’ll be in Kuwait for a couple days, and then at Fort Bragg here in NC, but then will fly home. We don’t have an exact date or time yet. I’m not sure where he’ll stay, though I’ll have the family room set up for him if he wants to crash here. He has a million things planned, including a Zombie Gutz tour in November. He’s 21; his life is stretched out like the yellow brick road before him.

You know what? I’m going through a midlife crisis - that’s it. I’m 42 and I feel like my life is over. What’s WRONG with me? I need something to do, and I don’t mean another goddamn sudoku puzzle. Can I ask you a question? Do I sound bitter?

Well, the best thing about these potholes is that I never stay stuck for long; I’ll think of something to do to lift myself up again. BUT, I thought you guys deserved to know where I’m at. You’re gold, all of you, and I think of you often… I can’t believe I stumbled across such a batch of amazing people. I kiss you, each and every one - and don’t worry, I’m not contagious. Mmmuch. xo