Boobaleeboo and Misc

I was just sitting here pressing the refresh button, over, and over, and over, and over, in the vainglorious hope that somebody would have left me a comment during one of the successive two-second blocs, but nobody did. Of course, I realize it isn’t even 6:30am here in the south, let alone in the west, where it’s only 3:30am. But I expected more from over the pond. There, it’s fricking 11:30am, which has given you all plenty of time to have your tea and crumpets and get to the computer so you can talk to me. Now, if that sounded hostile, it’s only because I miss you so much, and because I barely even know what a crumpet IS. Is it some kind of doughnut? I’m already way behind on the Turkish Delight dealio.

It was while watching the underrated and overlooked gem 28 Days - the movie starring Sandra Bullock, Alan Tudyk and Viggo Mortenson, not the one featuring scabrious and crumbly fast-movin zombies - that I learned the valuable aphorism, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Apparently, Benjamin Franklin said it first, and because he wore glasses I believe we should listen to him. And also, he was a valuable aphorist, a veritable National Treasure, before Nicholas Cage went and ruined the phrase for us all. 

Ha ha, just kidding Nick. Please be my friend.

Yesterday I had a slight moment of panic when I realized I hadn’t bought even one Christmas present to give anyone. But I’m over it now. Now I just feel numb, which is a feeling I highly recommend, and have perfected to the point at which drugs are no longer necessary. Only the power of the mind. Only the power of the mind. Only the power of the mind. Only the power of the mind.

Feel better yet? Hey! It’s Christmastime, you guys! I hope you’re having a wonderful week so far, and that you have all your presents bought. I hope you try eggnog in your coffee at least once, and that you get to taste a homemade Kriss Kringle cookie, and if you do let me know how it is, because I just made that up. May you get to dip your cracker in a nutty cheeseball this holiday season, if that’s the kind of thing that floats your boat, and may you be surprised by some piece of utter nonsense that makes you laugh like a blithering idiot and nearly wet your pants. Try Alec Baldwin quietly promoting his Shweaty Balls on his SNL Best Of DVD. You won’t be sorry, unless you forget your Depends. You guys are the greatest. Merry merry!  kiss! xo