Oh yeah? Resolve THIS!

Mornin’, campers. It’s early, on the first day of the new year. I’ve had a rousing breakfast consisting of a bowl of peanuts, three orange milano cookies, and five-yr-old tea I decided to brew in the coffeemaker. There’s a first time for everything, you know, and I thought - it being the first day of a new year - I might as well do something novel with the tea, well, besides drink it. (It HAD been five years.) Of course, then I remembered seeing a tea-brewer at the store when I was out buying all my gifts the day before Christmas, so I guess it’s not such a novel idea after all. But I’ll bet the people who used their tea-brewer this morning didn’t have a cup of five-yr-old tea that tasted like coffee, now, did they? Okay then. 

As you can tell from the preceding paragraph, I’m an adventurer, and I don’t mind bragging a little to say I’m from a long line of adventurers. In fact, if any of you have spent any amount of time with me at all, even one minute on the phone, or five interminable hours over Thanksgiving dinner, you already know that I had ancestors who sailed over from England on the Mayflower. This has always been a point of pride for me. I was delighted to be part of a line of people who flew in the face of persecution and their King to establish a colony in which they could worship the way they wanted to.

Ha ha, silly me. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking for Nathaniel Philbrick’s new book Mayflower for Christmas, and all my delusions were shattered. (By the way, Scott turned the entire island of Nantucket over to find it for me and since the author lives there, to get it signed: “To Kelly, a Proud Mayflower Descendant - Nat Phiilfihkhjh”). Wasn’t that nice of Scott, though he had no idea he was taking a hammer to my dreams? Anyway, within two chapters, I found out that not even one of my ancestors was a Puritan. One was a cooper hired on to make sure the beer barrels didn’t bust during the journey, and whom I believe wrote The Beer Barrel Polka, though I can’t be sure because I haven’t done any research to find out; and the others were from families the Puritans termed “The Strangers”, people taken on just because they wanted to tag along for the ride, and had beer money. 

However, seeing as - in subsequent chapters - the Puritans went on to massacre Indians, hang Quakers, and burn witches, I’m probably better off with the accordian-playing, merry-Maypole-making, Christmas-celebrating crowd. I don’t know. What do you think? 

I’m going to have to write again tomorrow, because I suddenly have lots to say. I hope you guys have a great New Year’s Day. And remember to follow your Aunt Kelly’s favorite New Year aphorism which she just made up: If resolutions make ye, the devil may take thee. Let your only resolution be to find peace for yourself this year. kiss, friends! xo