Freakish scramblings

Hi you guys. First off, thank you for talking to me on my last post, and I humbly apologize for not talking back to most of you. I don’t mean “talking back” as in “sassing”, because sass is a dish best served cold, and I would never do that to you. Or is that revenge? I can never distinguish between the two, to tell you the truth. I think we should just make the saying go, “Sassy revenge is a dish best served cold”. Or maybe not say it at all, because it kind of cancels itself out if you think about it for more than two seconds.

I went to bed around ten but woke up a couple minutes ago with my second wind. That’s not something you want to get at 11:30 of an evening, at least when you have a full day planned on the morrow. “Of and evening” and “on the morrow” are quaint, old-fashioned sayings, aren’t they? Don’t you hate it when stuff like, say, ice cream is labeled “old-fashion”, without the “ed” tacked on the end, as it should be? Man, that hacks me off something fierce. It’s irresponsible and hits the eye wrong. J.K. Rowling would never write it that way, nor would Marcel Proust. “Marcel” is kind of a girly name for a boy, isn’t it? I would never name my boy that, unless he looked girlish. No, wait, that would make things worse. If my boy looked girlish, I would name him Buck.

There’s a guy named Buck in one of my classes who looks kind and like he could be my friend, except that he’s very, very short. I’m always anxious that I’ll scare short people, because I’m so prodigiously tall. I try to wear flip-flops around the shortest ones, so as to console them. Remember when we used to call flip-flops, thongs? And remember when thongs were once called underpants? Would you name your son Underpants, if he looked like a pair of them? I might. Boys certainly smell like them often enough. I once knew a couple who named their daughters Velvet, and Lace. They wanted a baby boy so they could name him Corduroy. I prayed nightly for years that that would never happen, but I’ve lost track of them now. Maybe if they had a boy they named him Levi, which is at least socially acceptable. I thought about naming Van “Levi” - Levi Lowe is such a cool name - and I also thought about naming him Lewis. But someone talked me out of Lew Lowe - I can’t remember who, but he should probably be thanked.

sigh. Obviously, I’m doing anything I can short of running around naked outside to avoid going over my algebra Final Exam review again. The exam is on Wednesday. Today I made a resume for my ACA class, a.k.a. College Success class, a.k.a. Arse class (thank you, Mal, for that apt coinage). The resume was based on my only skill package, which is as a worship ministry musician-slash-leader, therefore rendering it obsolete right out of the box since I’m never doing that again. Hey, now. Start the day with nonsense, end it with same is MY personal motto. Don’t you judge me… it’s gotten me this far, and in flip-flops no less!

Next up: The Caterpillar I Found on my Collar 

Seacrest out. kiss, friends!