Throw the book at her

I would rather read than do anything else. I would rather read than vacuum, that’s for sure. I would rather read than eat, most of the time, unless we’re talking about sushi. I’ve been craving sushi lately, so I’d probably rather eat sushi than read. But almost everything else, I’d rather read than do. I’d rather read than water my flowers, which are withering away because I’m reading. I would rather read than repaint my chipped orange toenails, and I’d rather read than touch up my rust red roots. Sometimes I’d rather wallow in the idea of reading rather than do it, but that’s only sometimes. The majority of the time I’d rather read than think about reading.

I just got a buttload of books from Goodwill yesterday, and another cheekload today at the library. I bought a double CD set of music from Woodstock ‘94, and borrowed two movies from the library while I was loading up on books. I rented Reno 911’s fourth season at Star Video, and Netflixed season two of Extras. I propped my eyes open with scotch tape to finish reading The Deathly Hallows yesterday in case somebody ruined the ending for me. (They didn’t.) You guys, I am seriously overloaded. Okay, and don’t laugh, but one of the books I picked up at the library is Marcel Proust’s famous twenty-million page memoir: Remembrance of Things Past. You GUYS. This is a cry for HELP. Somebody! Please! I need a lobotomy!**

Other than waking up in the middle of every night with stress squatting on my chest playing squeegee with my heart, I’m doing okay. School is going well, and is almost finished. This term, anyway. I now have two terms under my belt, which may cause some of you to merrily exclaim, “Ah, but that leaves only two more terms until you get your associate’s, right?” You would be merry and bright, but you would be wrong. I was out of school so long and so confused about what to do before hopping the freight train-of-thought again, that most of my classes have been either developmental, or seriously off-track, and thus count towards exactly nothing, or only in getting me READY for grownup classes. So, basically, I’m only two classes towards my degree - still miles away. This coming term will go a long way towards closing the distance, however, as every one of my classes will count. That means I’ve gotten over the first big hump without needing all the king’s horses. Calloo for me!

Somebody really should water my flowers, though. I think I’ll go read now. Or watch Reno 911. Or Extras. Or one of my library movies. Or listen to music. Or… Or… Uh, guys? If a head explodes in the forest, and there’s nobody around, does it still splat like a melon? No reason. Just wondering. kiss, pals.

**Note to psychos: That was a joke.