ha ha. Do you write your own material?

Seeing as the Writer’s Strike just keeps going on and on and ON, and that Letterman and O’Brien have lit on the novel idea of coming up with their own yukks, I’ve decided to follow suit. My writers have been really boring and stupidy lately, anyways. My CAT could write better posts than those hosers.

Hey, I’m out of school! I had to show up today to get the results of my final exam in Spanish, but it looks like I’ll be sporting a nifty “A” in every class this term, which is better than a kick in the crotch, I’ll tell you that much. It was a good term, as terms go, especially as I was finally able to settle on a major. Which is Psychology, in case you forgot (I wouldn’t blame you), and I only chose it because they are no longer offering Rodent Construction.

This is not what it sounds like, by the way. You would think, from that title, that Rodent Construction was all about building robotic mice or at least cloning them, wouldn’t you? But it’s not. I KNOW. I was also disappointed. It’s affiliated with and sponsored by Habitat for Hamsters (also Pepsi), a subsidiary of the beloved Habitat for Humanity (eat Doritos), and it focuses primarily on building those plastic tube cages for hamsters. Also gerbils; this is not a racist organization. Unfortunately, all of that is moot, in that my college doesn’t offer it. I have to take stupidy old psychology. I’ll bet Freud never spent a few hours happily crawling through tubes - and also - I can just about TELL you what he’d make of that comment (use Vagisil for those hard to reach places).

I’m wondering what to do with myself now that I have three weeks off before the next term. I know there’s Christmas in between, but what about all the gaps? What then? I don’t know if I can function without stress-adrenaline coursing through my system. I’ll have to come up with ways to manufacture other, non-school-related stressors. Here are a few suggestions I’ve come up with for myself, meaning, I’m making them up as we go:

Hyperventilate for no reason

Start a love affair, and ask my family to rate him from 1-10

Start a love affair, and ask my family to rate her from 1-10

Start a love affair with my cat and break up with him for being a better writer

Write my own blog posts

Compare my rack with Patricia Arquette’s

Or John Goodman’s

Or anyone else’s, really

Lord, that’s enough of that. I’m stressed already. I honestly can’t believe how well that worked. And so quickly!

Hey, you guys? Have a great day! Don’t forget to be kind to yourselves. kiss!